Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash
by YourPsycho
Summary: This isn’t your overdone Mai-the-play-bunny/Kaiba-the-vamp and Tristan the lame toilet paper wrapped mummy. This is original sarcasm and twisted humour here – how macabre can a halloween party hosted by Kaiba get? Especially when 2 psychos are invited...
1. Introduction

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

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_Author's Note -_ Heya everyone! Okay, so all suggestions… criticism… reviews etc are welcome; just a few basic notes: there might be some OC'ness from Kaiba and you might pick up on a distinct hatred/irritation directed at Tea and Serenity (**Or** as I refer to them as – _The Friendship Fairies) _I feel sorry for the lot of you who are actually offended by me offending them.

Anyway. This may be ghey – or whatever, but I decided that we needed a new addition to the gang – a female who isn't pathetic or annoying, basically. So, I decided to add a modern incarnation of Kisara into it – since this is a little mini-series it doesn't matter how she got here but she's here. She's kinda badass, sarcastic; actually she's a Goth. (Thought that'd be a funny trait to add to her since she seems so delicate in her past life.) So, that's pretty much it.

Onto the vague official introduction, readers…

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**Introduction**

_Reasons to go to Kaiba's stupid Halloween party:_

_1. For Mokuba (Fair enough. He's so CUTE!)_

_2. It'd piss Kaiba off._

_3. It would REALLY piss Kaiba off. _

Kisara smirked at what she scrawled down on a sticky note. She liked the last reason; and she suspected so did the rest of the gang.


	2. 1 Getting Into Costume

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

**Chapter 1 **

**Getting Into Costume

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**

_**Black**__ oh-so-tight leather pants. Check._

_**Black **__turtle-neck. Check. _

_Extra long flowy __**black **__trench coat. Check._

_Goth-like chains extending from cuffs. Check. _

_Silk BEWD boxers for that extra comfort… check. _

He smirked – then frowned, "Damnit, my chains got tangled again!" and continued to glare moodily when a voice quipped, "Seto, why does the KC trench coat have so many straps? _Heeelp!_" with a sigh Seto Kaiba fixed his little brother's outfit – the kid was going to be hyped up on sugar and the thought gave Kaiba a headache.

"You ARE sure of this, Mokuba? It's not too late to cancel."

"It'll be fun, you'll see!" Mokuba grinned.

"And you couldn't just _Trick or Treat _like a normal kid?" with exasperation, Kaiba sighed. Again.

_Yeah I'm sure this Halloween party will be a blast… with the 'dorks r us' team and… candy. Lot's of candy – and booze. _

Kaiba shuddered.

* * *

"Hun, I reaaally think you overdid it with the glitter." Mai said, absently prodding her friend's pink FLUFFY wings.

"Nonsense. I can't be a fairy if I don't have enough glitter to spread my love and friendship," Tea replied brightly while eyeing Mai's red _extremely _high hooker heels, _it goes with the kinky nurse uniform, _Mai had argued when Kisara and Serenity insisted that she would be the first suspect in a murder investigation with _those_ weapons.

Their conversation was interrupted by a gasping and choking sound coming from the bathroom, "Not… so… TIGHT… SERENITY-!" wheezed Kisara, flinging the door open and collapsed on the floor.

"Oh… sorrrrry!" Serenity-the-ghost-bride _anime sweat-dropped_ while helping Kisara to her feet – only to be rewarded with an icy stare.

"Yeah, you better be sorry – _FOR TRYING TO KILL ME!!" _Kisara growled, then added, "Mai, PLEASE – fix this damned corset!"

"Ohhh seems Vampira didn't have her fill of blood, huh?" Mai teased.

"Well, you know how grouchy Kisara gets when she hasn't eaten," Tea laughed but abruptly stopped when she received a _shut the hell up _glare from Kisara.

"This is kind of unexpected coming from Kaiba, don't you think?" Tea said in a voice thick with conspiracy as she fixed her pink sweater, yellow skirt and ridiculous purple leotard.

"But I think it's going to scary – being alone with _Kaiba _and all…" Serenity stammered and flushed, she had a crush on Kaiba and secretly wished she were _his _bride tonight…

"I didn't know Kaiba had _another _mansion – boy, he is rich." Mai then added, "Just keep Joey _away_ from the alcohol is all I ask – and the coke…"

Kisara looked questioningly at Mai while arching a disbelieving eyebrow, "Joey. As in Wheeler. Get's warped on… COCA COLA? Typical."

"_Whaaat_, I've seen it does weird things to him okay?" Mai hastily added, not wishing to divulge any more information relating to Joey's latest 'hook' and with a bubbly laugh she called out, "Ready to wake the dead, girls?"

* * *

"Dude. Yugi's wearing a DRESS. Get the camera _quick!_" Tristan sniggered.

"It's NOT! I'm an Egyptian Pharaoh _okay_," Yugi blushed; _he told the Pharaoh this was a bad idea. _

Joey's voice came from within the garage the guys were getting dressed in; except the light bulb blew half-way through and Joey was finishing off in the dark, "Give it a rest Tristan! Now for the grand unveiling; you'll never guess what I am… teehee!"

Duke rolled his eyes, tonight's Halloween wasn't the warmest and to play the part of the devil – that is, devilishly handsome – he had decided to go shirtless with a spiked dog collar and a long devil's tail sewn to his leather pants. Did he look sexy? Hell yeah. But he was soooo cold and with a hiss of annoyance, directing an envious glance at Tristan's warm werewolf costume – putting the ridiculous thick beard aside – and called out, "HURRY IT UP, JOEY!" _Poor Yugi, the guy's wearing a bathrobe from the waist down; he must be colder than I am._

"OK, OK! READY?" Joey called out gleefully, preparing to jump out of the garage and give the guys a fright, "Joey Wheeler is a-"

"Monkey." Duke finished for him, "Can we go now?"

"Whaaaat?" Joey's surprise only made appear even more stupid as Tristan burst into fits of laughter, "Oh man – Yugi's wearing a dress… but you – oh man… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Joey scratched his head stupidly, wondering how he mixed up the scary Freddy Krueger costume with _this_.

"Gahhh STUPID LIGHTBULB!" he shouted angrily, kicking the garage door and prancing up and down, trying to ease the pain in his foot, "Ow, ow, ow…"

"Come ON!" Duke groaned, grabbing Joey by his tail.

"Nuh uh! NO WAY!" Joey protested, "If I go to Richboy looking like this – it'll the first time he laughed in years, man."

Tristan helped Duke drag him along, "Come on dude – maybe the shock will stop Kaiba's heart from beating or something; now do you want to scare the girls first, or what?"

Unsure of what to make of it, Yugi followed stifling his laughter.

_Joey is a monkey… hahahahaha. _

_

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_

"Yugi, get it in _real deep_!"

"But it can't _go _any deeper, Joey."

"Aww man, you're so short!"

"What exactly ARE you guys doing in the dark?" Duke glanced suspiciously behind the oak tree at Yugi and Joey.

"Naw man, jus' tryna get this prank to work but Yug's so short we can't setup the goods," Joey whined, only to be interrupted by Tristan's urgent whisper, "They're _here_, get down!"

Lifting his head after having it shoved to the ground, Joey inspected the girls carefully – especially Mai in that short nurse's dress; Serenity's wedding dress was thick and bulky which was suitable for limiting Duke's chances of getting fresh with her. Tea looked conservative and slightly odd… Kisara looked the part of a vampire, wearing a short black dress; a lace and silk corset – and still loyally 'gothed out' with a choker… she looked vicious, especially with those fangs…

Suddenly dreading the revenge Kisara would exact on them, Joey gulped. "You sure about this?" Tristan only grinned, "On three. One…two…"

* * *

_Serenity Wheeler is going to die! _Kisara thought angrily, her boots catching in the folds of Serenity's absurd bridal dress, "You figure the guys would pull something?"

Tea turned to her and frowned, "They'd better not if they know what's good for them."

"Did you hear that?" Mai grinned wickedly; Serenity put her hands on her ears and whimpered, "Oooh, stop!"

So meek. SO Serenity.

The girls stopped again. The night was still. _Too _still.

Tea turned her head and noticed a figure heading for Mai – suspicious.

But before she could say anything Mai felt the breath knocked out of her as she was tackled brutally to the ground.

Kisara surveyed two male figures and was amused to find that in her panic, Serenity had run head-first into an oak tree – totally knocking herself unconscious.

Suddenly she felt a sensation as someone wrapped their arms around her – binding her goddamnit! A smooth voice murmured, "Got you." And only laughed maniacally as she struggled profusely; intensely aware of Mai against the ground with her arms and legs flailing to stop her attacker.

"HEY!" Yugi called out, and relief coerced through Mai as he, Duke and Tristan came into sight, even more so when her heel struck her attacker , "OW!" he cried out, stumbling.

"That huuuurt!" Bakura (The good one) complained, rubbing his forehead; a small diagonal gnash jutted out to rest just above his eyebrow, "Those heels are a life hazard, you know that?"

Duke and Tristan were about to question Bakura when they heard a series of low 'oofs' and saw the oddest sight ever: Tea and Kisara – beating the crap out of Marik.

"It was a joke, honest!" he protested, the two only ceasing when Duke suggested they extend some of that violence to Bakura for intercepting their plot to scare the girls _themselves. _

That wasn't a smart thing to say.

Instead, with a fiery glare they decided to express their livid fury on Duke, Tristan and Yugi – AND Joey, if they ever found him; when out of nowhere oblivious of three unbelievably pissed females, with an unconscious Serenity in his arms – Joey emerged.

He wasn't prepared for their response.

Kisara and Tea laughed. Hysterically.

They literally collapsed and beat their hands against the ground; tears streaking their faces.

"SO NOT FAIR! I'M HUMILIATED AND YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME TOO?" Joey shouted, jumping up and down like anime characters do – sending Mai into a fit of giggles.

"When… we're… done – HAH! Laughing, Joey… we'll… kill you… m'kay?" Kisara stammered between hysterical giggles, swaying unsteadily on her feet, "But that's probably not going to be for a while – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ACK!"

A groan emitted from a crumpled form; Kisara knelt and took Marik's chin in her hand, "What did we learn?" she said in a mocking voice, in response Marik stuck his tongue out like a child as Kisara helped him to his feet.

"Oh my God - IS THAT FOR REAL?" Tea exclaimed, backing into Mai and pointed at the 'shirt' Marik wore.

"That's really sick, Marik! Is THAT a straight jacket?" Mai shook her head and leaned against Joey who was giving Duke dirty looks for holding Serenity.

"Serenity, be a good Christian and lay off the devil, will ya?" Joey called out; Tristan responded wryly, "Yeah this one steals _virtues_ not souls."

Joey scowled, "WHAAAAT?"

While a fight erupted between Joey, Tristan and Duke over Serenity's virginity, Marik continued, "Authentic straight jacket; stole it on the way here – looks good right?"

Mai shook her head in disbelief and decided that Marik was in need of psychiatric help, but before she could comment, her thoughts were interrupted by Kisara and Yugi fighting.

"It goes THIS way Yugi!" Kisara insisted, fiddling with Marik's jacket straps.

"I still don't think you should do it!" Yugi pleaded, wrestling with her.

"Hey, what are you guys doing back there?" Bakura asked; Marik seemed oblivious to Kisara tying his straps.

"Ooh what does this do?" Yugi wondered and also messed around with the straps; eventually Marik's arms were bound behind his back like a _real _crazy person and started to struggle, "HEY!" He growled while stumbling and collapsing and then groaned, "Owww…"

Yugi stopped briefly before he entered Kaiba's _other _mansion, wondering why all his friends were so violent – "Especially Kisara and her homicidal tendencies," He laughed.

* * *


	3. 2 Enter The Kaiba Mansion

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – Kisara's surname is Hunter plus OOC'ness from Kaiba; a 'roofy' mentioned below is a drug that sorority boys slip in girl's drinks at parties – I think it's the same as the 'date drug'… the stuff that get's women taken advantage of. I don't know if it's spelt right but you get the idea. Also evil laughter is a big thing with Kaiba (as seen in Battle City) **_

_**Disclaimer – According to Konami I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Boy, that suckeths. XD

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**Chapter 2 **

**Enter The Kaiba Mansion

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**

"_Watch it Kaiba, I bite!" _Kisara glared warningly; flashing her fake vampire fangs.

"Careful Hunter, your horns are starting to show." Kaiba retaliated; he and Kisara always seemed to enjoy riling each other up – not that he cared. Much.

"Guys, calm down!" Yugi stepped between them, in an effort to diffuse the battle that was slowly erupting.

The gang had just arrived and were awed by the decoration that donned the Kaiba's _other _mansion – from realistic blood stains to creepy lighting, amongst other props.

And of course, the dead bodies.

It took a lot of prodding of the corpses for everyone to be assured of the fact that they WERE in fact, fake.

Kaiba, in twisted humor had pretended to be dead – lain in a coffin; while Kisara in a state of shock (with Serenity meekly at her side) neared closer to him. Unexpectedly, he gripped Kisara's wrists and forced her into the casket while the lid shut.

After a lot of physical contact with Mr. CEO, Kisara was flustered when Serenity finally popped the lid.

_And she said I don't have a sense of humor. _Kaiba thought with a self-superior smirk across his face. _Well Kisara knows better now. Mwahahahahaha… _

Interrupting Kaiba's train of thought was Kisara whacking him on the head with a plastic skeleton leg.

"You were evil laughing in your head, weren't you?" She accused.

_Damnit. How does she DO that? _Kaiba thought while folding his arms across his chest stubbornly, "None of your business." He mumbled only to be disrupted by Joey's strangled cry, "No Mai –DON'T!"

Mai professionally dragged Joey back through the doorway he had fled, ignoring his pleas.

Considering the monkey suit he wore, it was not surprising that Joey wanted to delay the moment that Kaiba would humiliate him.

"Don't be such a baby," Mai rolled her eyes, the smooth _click click _of her heels paused as she expertly dumped Joey in the middle of the floor.

He shot her a dirty look as everyone waited.

Yugi's and Tea's glances flickered nervously between the two.

Duke and Tristan stifled their laughter while Kaiba side-glanced Joey.

_What was this? _He wondered with clenched teeth – intensely aware of the fact that his eyes were watering.

_I will not laugh… I will not laugh… _he chanted to himself and with much difficulty looked Mai in the eyes and said, "A present for _me_? How sweet."

Sarcasm dripped from each word; and Kaiba added, "Mai. Didn't I tell you animals weren't allowed?"

"Awww but he's so CUTE!" Kisara _glomped_, playing along.

"Not when he makes a mess on the carpet." Kaiba said shortly, getting Joey fired up.

"Shut it, Rich Boy!" He growled while shaking his fist threateningly when Kaiba erupted into a long arrogant evil laugh.

Tea groaned inwardly - _again with the evil laughter. _

Serenity was moved to tears by Seto Kaiba's sexiness, quite literally.

"What, Halloween store ran out of Blue Eyes White Dragon costumes?" Kisara said dryly (anything to make him shut up, basically).

"Don't be absurd," Kaiba countered, "They didn't have my size…"

_Then who the hell is he supposed to be then? _Duke wondered.

"Death." Kaiba said grimly, as if responding to his thoughts, "Since it is almighty and inevitably. Ooh. Sort of like _**me**_."

In a dull voice Kisara replied, "How morbid."

Marik sniggered, "Rich, coming from the Group's GOTH."

"Ehh…" Joey interrupted, "If you're Death, then shouldn't you have a scythe or summin?"

Kaiba's eyes narrowed in irritation, "Yeah sure I do. In my underwear drawer next to the roofy I'm going to slip in your drink later."

Joey panicked, "WHAAAT? don't rape meeee!" he squeaked while everyone else's eyes widened to form 'WTF' expressions.

_If only Seto Kaiba loved me half as much as he loved himself, _Serenity obsessed to herself when a figure descended down the stairs dramatically.

"Mokuba, who are you supposed to be?" Tristan enquired, watching the kid continue a self-superior strut so like his brother's.

"Seto. Kaiba." Mokuba smirked, and then grinned, "I had one of big brother's trench coat's 'specially resized, hehe!"

Yugi laughed, "As if one Seto Kaiba wasn't enough."

Mokuba joined in and frowned as he noticed Bakura holding a fake revolver, looking shiftily from one side to the other and pinned himself flat against the nearest wall – CIA super-spy style.

"Bakura is acting rather weird…" Tea frowned, gazing at him questioningly as Kaiba arched a sarcastic eyebrow.

Bakura, noticing that he finally achieved everyone's attention said in a rich British accent, "James Bond." And after dusting his tuxedo off, added, "He get's all the beautiful women, you know."

Kaiba was stunned. _Bakura goes for women? Wow. Didn't expect that one. _

Mai shook her head as Tristan in conversation with Joey, stroked the thick tufts of hair stuck to his face, "What? It's the closest thing to a beard man, the dark and thick kind girls like!"

Joey seemed to be really considering this remark and was suddenly overcome with a glazed over look in his eyes – Tristan's mouth formed a small 'o' and unison they exclaimed, "FOOD!" and charged the oversized Nacho fountain – sprouting blood red Salsa sauce.

"Maybe Rich Boy ain't so bad after all…" Joey cried out as tears streamed from his eyes.

As usual eating was a moving experience for him. Mokuba attacked the candy and was soon overcome with a mad sugar frenzy while the girls danced, which gave Duke and Kaiba - not that he'd admit it - something to look at while Marik and Bakura sandwiched themselves amongst the dancing.

"I don't know Marik, this past night I've felt a strange bloodlust overcome me…" Bakura complained, not mentioning the black haze that seemed to be on the very edge of his subconscious; taking over him. A deep maniacal laugh resounded from within the confines of his mind… and gradually he gave in.

It only took Marik a few minutes longer to give into _his _dark side – he turned to Serenity, "Some ghost bride you are. You're not dead!"

Serenity giggled, "It's just pretend, silly."

Bakura grinned wickedly to himself, _but it doesn't have to be… mwahahahaha… mwahahahaha –_

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kaiba joined in, he didn't know WHY Bakura was evil laughing, but since this was _his _event HE would do the evil laughing.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mwahahah- OW!" Kisara bonked Kaiba on the head hard with another one of the props.

"You should put your energy into something else other than THAT," She commented, separating herself from the dancing.

Kaiba glared at her, "Like what?"

Marik in a party mood interrupted, "Like _getting laid_!" and disappeared with Bakura on his heels on their own little mission. Suspicious. But Kaiba's reservations were interrupted as Kisara forced him to dance.

"_Nonononono_…" Kaiba complained – _damn it, _why did he always allow himself into situations like this when Kisara was involved? Especially when the full fledged disadvantages of being tall became apparent with Kisara and Mai's plunging necklines, and since all he _could _do was look down… it was becoming a problem.

Mokuba sniggered as he watched Kisara entwine her arms around his very awkward big brother… but was that a glimmer of excitement detected in Seto's eyes? The moment came to an abrupt end when Mokuba ran squarely into Kisara; his face squished amongst her cleavage.

As anticipated the kid was hyped up on sugar and seemed to jitter, "Hey Seto! SeeItoldyouyou'dhavefun! WhoahYOU'REGLOWING! Hey Kisara!" Mokuba said really fast; as for the 'glowing' Kaiba was actually blushing… _stupid revealing corset. _

Mean time, some idiot let Joey have coke; despite Mai's ambiguous warning earlier no one really knew what it _did _to Joey.

They were soon to find out.

"Kaiba's hawt."

Silence.

Everyone dazed and confused with 'KWTF' expressions froze instantly; who would dare be so open about the CEO's attractiveness? Serenity held her breath, _I really hope it wasn't me… wait. Why's everyone looking at me?_

Actually it was Kisara everyone's gaze flickered to since it came from her direction and she _was _flirting with Kaiba… sort of.

Kaiba smirked, in all Kisara's drunkenness and as the newbie in the group she actually said it. Impressive.

Joey hooked his arm around Kisara's neck – totally out of it, "Teehee! Y'know, I still have dreams about being a dog and Kaiba as my master… Kaiba'd make a hawt master, I bet! Mai's sexy and Yug should get laid! Heck, I should get laid too."

From somewhere in the rest of the house Marik called out, "HELL YEAH! Wooohooo!"

Tea growled, "Don't encourage him."

Joey embraced Kisara and aimed for Kaiba, intending to do the same.

With arms wide open about to encircle him, Joey suddenly felt Kaiba's hand in his face, keeping him a not-so-safe arms length away.

"Not. Funny. Wheeler." Kaiba growled, barely containing his rage - N_o way the mutt just said that. I can't believe I, Seto Kaiba activated the monkey's 'gaydar'; especially when I had high expectations for… _

"Okay, okay!" Mai held her hands up as Serenity knelt beside her brother who was flat on the floor.

"It was just the coke warping his already warped brain. Nothing else – however I have to agree with him on the fact that I AM sexy."

Mai then handed him some vodka which quickly wiped his memory and soon everyone was over what happened.

Mokuba was running in circles around each individual before he crashed into his big brother, "I'm cutting your supply kid." Kaiba said affectionately while lifting a bowl of candy out of Mokuba's reach.

"My precious!" He hissed jumping up and down unsuccessfully to reach the bowl of candy; the sugar frenzy sending him to whole new levels – eventually Kaiba gave in, figuring that Mokuba would crash and burn in a couple of hours provided he didn't crash into a wall, that is.

* * *

Meanwhile Bakura knotted a perfect hangman's noose.

"Help me set the trap over here, Marik."

"Mwahahahahaha!" Marik laughed evilly and Bakura joined in too.


	4. 3 The Prophecy Game

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – PG 16 to be safe… just a single reference to demonic rituals; talks of murder and suicide and other Occult'ish things. Nothing elaborate; just listing this here to be safe. Please read & review… suggestions… all welcome. **_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh because Kaiba owns it FOR me. =D

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**Chapter 3 **

**The Prophecy Game **

**

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"Mai those heels are a life hazard." Tea commented, "Yeah you could totally poke Joey's brains out with those!" Tristan gleefully added.

"Don't be stupid. Like Wheeler actually has brains…" Kisara laughed, ruffling Joey's hair jokingly.

"HEY!" Joey shouted before barfing on the carpet; Duke backed away holding his nose as Tristan made a mad dash for the bathroom.

Mai, Tea and Serenity wrinkled their noses in disgust and steered clear of the mess with groans of 'gross' and the like.

"Sif." Kisara murmured as Kaiba rolled his eyes and turned to her, "Clean it." He said simply – Not that he _really _expected Kisara to clean up the mess, but she didn't need to know that.

"No." Kisara said sharply, _who does he think he is? _She then growled something incoherent along the lines of "Male chauvinistic pig."

"He's your mutt _you _clean it," Kaiba growled and thus they engaged in a battle.

Mokuba watched them passively with a sucker in his mouth for a whole two minutes before he dashed off to another room shouting, "Follow me."

The only light emitted was from the fireplace. Joey after overdrinking himself, felt well-enough to continue doing so and was in a happy mood. He froze in the doorway and gazed unblinkingly at the couch nearest to the fireplace. He started quivering and his face was now the exact shade of white as Kisara's. Pale.

"Stay like that and dye your hair black you could be Emo," Kisara teased and rested her arms against the top of the back of the chair; the chair being home to a skeleton – this was the source of Joey's freaked out state.

Winking at Joey, she kissed the top of the realistic skeleton's head and sat down on the carpet, finally noticing that the entire gang was frozen in the doorway.

"Come onnnn!" Kisara drawled, "It's just like Bio class!" Referring to their Biology teacher who often had entire conversations with his plastic skeleton… weird…

Annoyed to the point he would have feared a busted blood vessel – had he _any _fear at all, Kaiba strode into the room and barely casting the skeleton a glance, unceremoniously dumped it on the floor, and sat rigidly in the chair with his arms folded across his chest with crossed legs.

"You honestly didn't think it was real, did you?" he said through clenched teeth. After a moment of gaping mouths everyone gathered inside the room.

"Now time for ghost stories!" Mokuba grinned with a newly refilled bowl of candy to make up for the lot he threw up when Joey barfed.

Everyone sat in a circle with exception to Kaiba and the story telling began…

* * *

"_Jiiiiimy, I want my finger back…"_ Duke uttered in an eerie voice; unconsciously everyone neared closer as tension grew to the point where Mokuba quit munching candy and just stared with wide eyes.

"But when he looked under the bed," Duke paused dramatically, speaking very slowly and speaking softer at each word to the point where his voice was no louder than a whisper he said…

"BOOO!"

Scaring everyone except Kaiba shitless.

Serenity whimpered and buried her head in Tristan's thick costume; Joey jumped under the couch; Yugi stood _on _the couch and Mokuba was now nestled comfortably on Kaiba's lap. "Scary, big brother." He muttered into the turtle-neck as he felt the arms of his big brother encircle him. Tender moment.

Ruined when Kisara jumped up and did a series of whoops and hollers to every one's dismay.

"AWE-SOOOOME!" She commented and slapped Duke's outstretched hand to acknowledge his superior story-telling skills.

When all had calmed down, they resumed their previous positions on the floor, only Mokuba remained on Kaiba's lap and everyone seemed to sit neared to each other in anticipation of the scare to come.

Kisara prattled about the time her and some fellow Goth's messed with an Ouija board, saying that everyone involved received a prophecy from the spirit they contacted and ended off describing exactly _how _four out of the seven Goth's died gruesome deaths and how another had landed up locked in an asylum, "… One day she killed herself inside her padded cell with this screw driver the handyman left behind. Her final words were scrawled across the floor… in her blood… they were – " but Kisara broke off her sentence as everyone felt goose bumps.

Finally, Kaiba as the main target had to talk about the macabre history of the house they now sat in.

"Kisara will like this one." He said dryly and spoke of how the man who used to own the house in the 1600s was involved in demonic rituals.

"Time to play a game." A grim voice spoke up; heads turned to face Marik and Bakura leaning casually against either side of the large doorway. Mai didn't like the evil glint in their eyes and neither did the Pharaoh for he took over Yugi's body; as for Kaiba he was _always _suspicious.

"Where have you guys been?" Tea questioned to which Marik replied, "Setting the game up. You'll like it; there'll even be a treasure hunt afterwards."

Mokuba jumped off Kaiba's lap and started shaking from his overdose on sugar, "Sounds like fun!"

Kisara fingered her choker and Serenity cowered behind Joey.

"I don't like this," Yami growled as Bakura and Marik disappeared around a corner, and proceeded to follow them.

* * *

"I am the crypt keeper!" Bakura declared in a creepy voice gesturing to a 200 year old game board that greatly resembled Ouija; only you had to move the pieces around it like in Monopoly except instead of trading money you traded souls.

Creepy.

_Man, why did Bakura have to go into all this occult crap? _Tristan thought while eyeing the grotesque figurines that would represent the players – like skulls, mini-models of ancient torture machines, THUMBSCREWS and even the right hand of a hanged man.

Even more off-putting was the spine-chilling card descriptions; however the gang played the short version since the extended version of the game was too elaborate – besides, they had a treasure hunt to finish before midnight after all.

The game ended when everyone received their own prophecy which usually declared how you would die or something else negative along those lines – Just a game of course. Under normal circumstances…

" '_Accidents happen_' what, that's' it?" Duke complained, expecting something eerie; Kisara rolled her eyes _these prophecies are so vague… 'between pride, blood drawn'. What the hell does that mean? _

Duke continued his rant, "I mean headbanging near a Goth's spikes and knocking yourself out – or worse, skewering your brain is an accident… can't they be more specific?"

Kaiba growled, "It's just a game you idiot. Mine says 'betrayel of blood'… ambiguous _yes,_ but not meant to be taken _literally._"

He sighed, soon he would need blood pressure tablets if he kept this up.

Marik sniggered, "_Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath_… you know, I got that in a fortune cookie once."

Suddenly Kaiba let out a long arrogant laugh, "Oh this is classic – "

"What, what, what?" Joey interrupted, Kaiba glared at him before continueing as Tea blushed, "Tea's prophecy. It says 'Hold thy tongue, bitter annoyance. Or face the consequences' you know, that is _really _accurate. I just want to know what the consequences will be; because let's face it, Tea could never shut-"

"Quit it Kaiba!" Yami growled, not that he wasn't used to Kaiba's attitude but he had never directly insulted Tea before.

"Everyone divided into teams?" Bakura asked interrupting everyone, before allowing the treasure hunt to begin.

"Since I am the Crypt Keeper you must remember to come find me once you've acquired everything on your list – a game of hide and seek, if you will."

After a pause he instructed everyone to count to 100 before they could continue as he went to go hide.

The count down admonished by Mokuba continued in the background.

"And the games have begun." Marik grinned wickedly disappearing into the shadows…

_51…52…53…_

_

* * *

  
_

_**Author's Note – just so you know, this isn't the last time you'll hear of the prophecies which have significance, trust me… at a later stage. But I will be sure to remind you of what everyone's prophecies are when it's crucial. **_

_**Thanks for reading this far ^____________^ The good stuff is coming. **_


	5. 4 Hangman

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – People die in this part =[ *puts on funeral clothes* **_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh; if I did Kaiba would SO kick Yugi's ass at duel monsters. [Kaiba: Wooohooo! You rock! 333]**_

_**Kaiba or Marik are SO doing the disclaimer next time…

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**_

**Chapter 4**

**Hangman's Noose

* * *

  
**

"I rate we just leave him wherever he's hiding," Kisara growled.

"It's obvious from all the Occult bull Bakura's into, that he'd hide behind a gravestone." Kaiba stated disinterestedly as the rest of the gang groaned in response.

The countdown was over and it was decided that before they proceeded with the Treasure Hunt that it'd be best to try and figure out where Bakura would be hiding.

Marik had also disappeared, and was quickly forgotten as a heated debate erupted.

"Probably," Duke agreed, brandishing his index finger admonishingly, "But even so; there's not a cemetery for miles."

Kaiba closed his eyes in silent impatience. _I'm doing this to make Mokuba happy. Tomorrow I can go back to treating them like the freaks they are. Gawd. _He thought with exasperation.

"BEHIND the house, you idiot!" Kaiba growled, _Do these dorks honestly think I don't know what I'm talking about?_

Joey looked at Kaiba warily, "So lemme get this straight – you got a GRAVEYARD in your BACKYARD?" he backed away a few steps.

"Plenty of room to stash the dead bodies, man." Tristan chipped in; without humor Kaiba said, "Exactly."

Serenity shuddered with excitement, _Kaiba's such a dangerous man. How cool!_

Mai's gaze flickered nervously to the backyard, _Whoa. If I ever pissed Kaiba off… would I end up there AS WELL?_

_Well, that looks like what future Kaiba's girlfriends – if he ever finally goes for one – may expect if she ever was stupid enough to cheat on him. _Kisara suspected grimly, thankful she'd never be on such close terms with the CEO.

Growing aware of where everyone's thoughts were heading Kaiba coughed uncomfortably, "Not mine. Perhaps Kisara's. She's the homicidal maniac." He smirked – enjoying the hateful glare he received from Kisara and was suddenly intensely aware of a hand flying at his face. Well, Kisara's hand.

_SLAP._

The sound bounced off the walls and everyone cringed. A red spot now formed on Kaiba's left side of his cheek. He smirked. Only he knew how to come from a defeat with utter dignity – as usual.

Mai's and Tea's eyes widened from shock as they realized what Kisara was planning next: _Another _back-handed bitch-slap.

As her hand flew steadily at his face; without flinching or even recoiling, Kaiba gripped Kisara's hand – intercepting her attack.

"Sorry. You only get one free shot at defending yourself," He smirked, she lowered her hand giving up for the moment and flushed, realizing that Kaiba's hand still lingered on her own. She grinned at Kaiba, snatched Mokuba by his collar and whizzed past everyone with Kaiba easily keeping up with her.

"TREASURE HUNT TIME, KIDDOS!" Kisara called out grabbing a head start with her team mates.

"EHH? NOT FAIR!" An indignified Joey whined with Duke closely at his heels; shouting, "Wait up, Joey!" _I thought Marik was supposed to be with us or something… maybe he passed out or whatever. _Duke thought as he raced down the hallway trying to locate Joey.

He spotted a figure slip into a room and assuming that it was Joey, Duke followed the figure into it. Except there was no one there.

He looked the room over and found nothing of interest – that is, except for the noose hanging from the ceiling fan… a very _heavy_ ceiling fan.

"Wouldn't want _that_ falling on me…" Duke muttered as Bakura appeared from the shadows, "Cool noose, don't you think?"

Duke eyed Bakura, "Shouldn't you be hiding or something?"

"Never mind that, stick your head through the noose just for laughs," Bakura suggested as Duke found a chair, stood on it and stuck his head through the loop, "Insane. Take a picture, quick!"

Duke grinned as Bakura took a snapshot and flicked a switch which sent the fan spiraling, slowly picking up speed.

"Hey Bakura this isn't funny… QUIT IT!" In response Bakura kicked the chair Duke previously stood on so that it collapsed on its side; Duke began choking and tried to hold onto the rope cutting into his neck, with one hand he reached for Bakura as a gesture of help but he only strode away – evil laughter lingering in the room.

Duke kicked and kicked and was relieved when he heard a voice, "Hey man – whoa… HOLY SHIT! I'LL SAVE YOU!" Tristan scrambled for Duke's feet (he was still turning around and around…) but only succeeded in pulling at the weak attachment between the fan and the ceiling; bits of plaster sprinkled Duke's hair as he made ghastly choking noises.

He knew it was over when he saw colorful spots, and when his head felt like it was going to explode with the pressure of the noose stopping his blood from flowing to the rest of his body… slowly his body became limp and he stopped kicking.

Only a single finger twitched – but that was merely post-mortem reflexes.

Tristan still oblivious to Duke's death, finally switched the fan off and gripped Duke's feet which only put more pressure on the fan's attachment and it collapsed right on top of him – the heavy fan crushing a part of his skull – he too was dead.

All you could see was a small pile of corpses underneath a ridiculously heavy fan.

They were actually… dead.

Unbelievable.

* * *

"Nice work, Bakura – you hit two birds with one rock… err, fan." Marik said while folding his arms across his chest.

"Too easy, my partner in psychotic killings." Bakura muttered darkly, eager for the next murder… _I see my homicidal tendencies are running wild again. _

"Just leave the Pharaoh to me – we still have some… ah, unfinished business. Besides, if I can't have my Rod back then it's only fair I have _his _Millenium Item in exchange."

Marik and Bakura both laughed evilly – it was one of the only props of being an evil villian, really… that, and everyone knows the bad guys are always sexy.

"Who shall we pick next?" Marik enquired.

"Hmm… let's just say we'll be doing Kaiba a favour for this one." Bakura replied wryly.

_Mwahahahahahahahahahah… mwahahahahahaha… mwahahahahahahaha!

* * *

  
_


	6. 5 Dead Bodies Everywhere

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – The bad guys get their way in this one… more death for sensitive readers… oh and very minor cussing, beware. **_

_**Disclaimer – I told you Kaiba or Marik would do this one ;D **_

_**Kaiba: YourPsycho does not own Yu-Gi-Oh… blah blah blah… but if she did Tea and Serenity would *evil glint in eyes* be dead… mwahahahahahahaha! So long Motherf- **_

_**Marik: *throws Millennium Rod at Kaiba's head* shhhhh! We haven't insured the PG for strong language yet… Idiot! (Napoleon Dynamite Moment… ;O)

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter 5**

**Dead Bodies Everywhere**

**

* * *

  
**

"_With friendship Yugi, we can do anything… because friends are there for each other and if we work together, we can-"_

"Stupid paper thin walls… Even though I cannot see her, I can _hear _her… when will it END?" Kaiba growled, due to Tea's voice dispersing through a broken dumbwaiter from somewhere downstairs.

Kisara covered her ears and groaned, "How does Yugi _stand it_?"

"Ear plugs. Who knows what Yugi's hiding underneath all that hair of his…" Kaiba replied looking shiftily from side to side, kicking a box aside to check for the item they were searching for.

Kisara and Mokuba laughed, "Did the Great Seto Kaiba actually make a joke?" Kisara stated with mock surprise across her face and clutched her heart dramatically, "I think the shock is going to kill meeeee-" Kisara yelped as she tripped over Mokuba's feet and fell face first through the empty Dumbwaiter shaft, just clinging to Kaiba's hand by her fingertips.

Kaiba easily maintained his grip and was about to pull Kisara back up when she exclaimed, "Found IT!" and with one hand found the notch in the wall and pulled out a model of a laughing skull – small enough to fit in the palm of her hand.

"Creepy." She muttered and after seeing the little 'treasure' Kaiba nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Ehhh did I outrun him?" Joey wondered out loud; to be honest he wasn't interested in the Treasure Hunt, the only Treasure he wanted was located in Kaiba's booze cabinet.

Despite how much he already drank tonight he hadn't passed out; Kisara believed this was because he didn't _have _enough brain cells for the alcohol to affect… well, whatever the reason – alcohol was calling and Joey Wheeler planned on answering.

"Teehee… let's see where you're hiding- AH THERE!" Joey exclaimed gleefully as he located a cupboard filled with enough booze to give someone alcohol poisoning; discarding any other thoughts, Joey attacked the alcohol.

* * *

"Tea, I do agree that with friendship hand-in-hand with the belief in the Heart of Cards, fate will work with us in-" Yami broke off his speech and stared past Tea at the swimming pool outside – he could have sworn that he saw a shadow flicker past the window… _Do my eyes deceive me? Never mind that, it's so dark outside I can't be sure if I saw anything ANYWAY. _

"Yugi…" Tea's attempt at a flirtatious voice perked the Pharaoh's curiosity, and him being completely dimwitted to a woman's subtle hints like most men, immediately grew worried. "What's wrong Tea?"

Tea giggled and pushed herself against Yami who immediately blushed, "… what are you doing?"

Tea winked _I'd never be able to do this if I was completely sober_… and readied herself to a plant a kiss on the unsuspecting Pharaoh's inexperienced lips.

Yami _anime sweat dropped_, _is this the PMS curse Yugi spoke of that affects all women? _He wondered when Tea suddenly sneezed; caught off-guard Yami slammed into the bookshelf which collapsed on top of him.

When he finally got up he was covered in dust; he sneezed and then said, "I'm going to go jump into the pool and get clean…" and leaving Tea stranded he climbed out the window, eager to avoid the awkward situation which would most likely follow.

He groaned, _I wonder if my Puzzle can cure Tea of this curse... imagine how all women would revere me if I could solve them __**all **__of PMS. _

Pleased at the thought of doing all women across the world a good deed, he continued walking towards the swimming pool and looked at the diving board.

"I've always wanted to jump off that…" excited, Yami climbed up the ladder and walked across the wobbly board and jumped up and down to test its durability; satisfied, he jumped head first into the black abyss below him… and as he dropped closer to the water all he could see was cracked concrete….

"…Uh oh…" he muttered as his head struck the bottom.

Marik came out from behind a bush and sighed, "Why did the Pharaoh have to be an idiot and go and kill himself, now? I wanted to do _iiiiiiit_!"

After a quick scan of the body, he was momentarily awestruck by the fact that the Pharaoh's entire hairdo was lodged at least three feet into the concrete - holding his body upright in a stiff vertical position.

With an evil laugh Marik jumped down into the empty pool and knelt beside the Pharaoh, "It was so easy, I wonder why we didn't think of this sooner?" He then grabbed the Puzzle and put it around his own neck.

Feeling rather pleased with himself he walked off to meet up with Bakura…

* * *

_What is the best way to kill this idiot?_ Bakura wondered while twirling a dagger in between his hands as he watched Joey overdo it on the alcohol.

He had never seen someone so ecstatic over that particular substance before – and it was this that left Joey Wheeler vulnerable.

_It won't be difficult; just one swift cut beneath his throat will do the job – it will leave a horrible mess behind though. _

Bakura stayed behind an oblivious Joey, readying his dagger for the final slit. As he neared closer Joey suddenly collapsed at his feet – his tongue protruding from his mouth.

His body was completely still.

Momentarily stunned, Bakura used his thumb and forefinger to feel for a pulse along Joey's neck and felt nothing. Taking in the rest of Joey's body, Bakura recognized the symptoms as that of Alcohol Poisoning.

He grinned evilly, "Joey did the job for us, I see."

And he walked off with his hands deep in his pockets.

Minutes later Bakura ran into Marik, "Done?" He asked, to which Marik merely nodded, the disappointment that he couldn't do something worse to the Pharaoh was evident.

"You know, we just wiped out two of Kaiba's most hated people; he should pay us for this!" Marik said, with a dark grin across his face.

"What, have him pay us for killing him later?" Bakura replied, and then added, "Not likely."

Marik chuckled, "It was just an idea. Getting paid for doing the world a good service and all that…"

Bakura's eyes brightened with twisted humor, "You know how we could _really _earn our Noddy badges?"

"How?" Marik asked, leaning against the wall casually while stroking the Puzzle fondly.

"If we could make Tea shut up… for good."

"As usual. Your ideas always appeal to me – why, if you were female I'd _so_ make you my bitch, Bakura," Marik added sarcastically.

But on a serious note – the idea of Tea 'sleeping with the fishes' was definitely alluring.

Marik's pupils shrank as he slipped further into insanity at the very thought…

* * *


	7. 6 The Friendship Fairies Last Tune

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – Tea / Serenity BASHING – my favorite! There will be grisly deaths in this one soooo… enjoy! Oh and a single reference to "Necrophiliac" – which is the name given to some one who gets off on dead bodies… etc… can tell you the rest. Oh and the f--- word get's mentioned once [for a good reason, trust me =O] with some other cussing involved. **_

_**Disclaimer – its Yami's turn to do the disclaimer since I'm sick of doing the disclaimer ;D**_

_**YourPsycho: Do it.**_

_**Yami: *growls* Fine. *sigh* YourPsycho doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh… thank Ra… and- MARIK I WANT MY PUZZLE BACK GODDAMNIT!**_

_**Marik: Mwahahahahaha! Nooooooo… it's MIIIIINE! Mwahahahahahahaha….**_

_**Kaiba: *joins in randomly* Mwahahahahaha…. Mwahahahahaha…..**_

_**Kisara: *groan* Not agaaaaain… stupid evil laughter…. **_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter 6**

**The Friendship Fairies Last Tune**

**

* * *

  
**

"_Yuuuuuuuugi…" _

Tea called out for the twentieth time and eventually gave up, "I've really done it now; nice work Gardner – scaring your friend off like that. But _still _he doesn't have to ignore me!"

Tea then folded her arms across her chest and then proceeded on the Treasure Hunt by herself.

Little did she know, Bakura and Marik were tailing her through the use of secret passages and doorways.

"How should we do it, Marik?" Bakura whispered.

"As bloody as possible for all the hell she put us through… friendship _this, _and friendship _that. _Good Ra will it never end?" Marik's response made Bakura chuckle darkly, "It shall. Tonight… mwahahahahahaha."

Marik patted his stomach, "I must say – the prospect of Tea's cold corpse creates this warm fuzzy feeling inside… oh wait, that's heartburn."

Bakura side-glanced Marik, "That sort of thing doesn't turn you _on_, does it?"

Marik laughed uncomfortably (which hints that it probably does).

"What _nononono_… I'm not a-"

"Necrophile." Bakura finished for him and with a knowing gleam in his eyes he resumed stalking Tea.

* * *

"Big brother…"

"What is it?" Kaiba asked, suspicious of what Mokuba could want at a time like this.

"Do you have any more candy on you?" he asked sweetly, complete with adorable sparkling eyes.

"No, and frankly you've had enough." Kaiba said firmly, "Awww but it's HALLOWEEN, Seto!" Mokuba begged.

"Fine, let's go get some candy." Kaiba sighed, giving in for the moment after receiving a warning glare from Kisara – besides any more and he was sure Mokuba would be as fast as a rogue rubber ball and even bouncing off the walls; it should be an interesting experience for the kid.

Kisara said she'd wait in the current room for them to get back, but after two minutes of no action she went on her own little mission.

Soon Kisara heard activity from a nearby room. Opening the door revealed a large elegant bedroom with an open-plan lounge and large French windows which led onto a balcony.

Then, as she hid behind a wall she saw Serenity involved in her own little world – Kisara stifled laughter as she watched the scene unfold…

"Oh Kaiba… I'd be honored to call you Seto –" Serenity prattled and flopped on the bed's plain white duvet set, spreading her arms out and reveling in the comfort of the mattress.

Kisara had to bite her own knuckles to prevent being discovered lurking and continued to watch Serenity fantasize – catching it on her mini video recorder; _no way, I can't believe Serenity Wheeler has a crush on Seto Kaiba of all people… insane. _

"I don't know if this mattress will hold if you keep on doing _that – _oh stop, Seto! You know I'm ticklish down-"

_Oh my God. This night just keeps on getting weirder… _

Serenity giggled and thrashed about; clearly pretending Kaiba was there doing… well, doing _her _basically.

_This is seriously fucked up… DUDE!_

_Besides, _Kisara thought to herself, _Kaiba would sooner do me than her ANYWAY. _

Deciding she had enough, she picked up a chair and dog whistled.

Serenity sat up and gasped but before she could say anything Kisara brought the chair above her and nailed a crushing blow at Serenity's head. A little extreme, sure… Kisara took it to the next level and grabbed a scarf and wrung it around Serenity's neck but even then she _still _didn't die…

_Die, bitch! Die! _Kisara growled trying to smother her with a pillow – instead, Serenity awoke and freaked out, collapsing on the ground which threw Kisara off balance.

Kisara stumbled until she heard a sickening _crunch. _

"Oh my God…" Kisara paled, "I just killed Serenity Wheeler."

She analyzed the situation; her stiletto heel was now penetrating directly through Serenity's skull. Ironically enough, Serenity's prophecy was on the bed where she must have dropped it; it read: _Heart divided in three, killed by uncertainty's heel. _

With a cry Kisara stumbled away from the corpse and was still wiping Serenity's brains off her shoe when a voice behind her boomed, "What are you doing?"

* * *

"Whoa, check this room out." Tea said as she walked into an unusual room; the only one so far which escaped Kaiba's macabre Halloween decorations.

It was a room filled with guns – rifles, revolvers, shotguns… you name it.

Talking to herself again, Tea said, "Oooh… what does Kaiba use all these guns for?"

As if in response to her question, her eyes traveled to a piece of cardboard near a gun; it stated, _'For annoying mutts. Like Wheeler.' _

Tea's eyes widened. _Well, that isn't very nice…_

Her gaze flickered to a small compact pistol; the caption read, '_For satisfying urge to blow own brains out.'_

Another said, _'The easiest way to beat Yugi Moto.'_

But what really caught her eye was the AK-47.

"Aren't those illegal?" She wondered and then read the caption out loud, "BEWARE: ANYONE WHO PISSES ME OFF!"

She laughed at that vigorously.

"Oh so you think that's funny, don't you Tea?" Bakura said mischievously as Marik appeared beside him.

Tea jumped from surprise, "Not really. It's just using a gun to settle your problems is illegal; and so much more could be resolved through communication and _friendship_…"

_Oh no, there she goes_. Marik thought, the pure torture evident upon his face and immediately he ran into a corner and sank into a fetal position.

Then hugging his knees and rocking back and forth he started incoherent ramblings and mutterings, consistent with that of a madman's rants – which rather suited the straight jacket he wore.

"Calm down, Marik, it'll be over soon." Bakura said in what could be described as a tender voice.

On the wall opposite him, Marik noted a two-barrel shotgun; the caption was, '_Use in case of need to end excessive endless friendship speech. Guaranteed results.'_ Marik pointed at it and called to Bakura, "Use that."

Bakura grinned evilly, "Kaiba really _is _prepared for anything."

Tea looked at them, "You've got to be kidding me."

Bakura shook his head, "No, my dear. I could kill you and still feel like I'm doing the community a good service."

Tea's smile faltered _They're serious! _

She backed away gradually as Marik retrieved the shotgun and with a wicked smirk he aimed at her head and was about to pull the trigger when Bakura grabbed the gun, "HEY! I wanted to do it!"

"No way – this is my moment, Bakura. Don't interfere!"

Tea's gaze shifted between them, _finally men fight over me and it's over who wants the honor of killing me… just great! _

Suddenly she ducked as a bullet very nearly hit her head, "AH!" she screamed out.

"Now you've done it, you idiot! Now we have to reload the bullets and clean the barrel and everything."

Bakura groaned as he organized the gun again; as he did this Marik pointed at Tea and said, "You – stay put so that we can kill you, got it?"

Tea nodded numbly as Bakura finally sorted the gun out just so another fight erupted between him and Marik – a lot of tugging and…

_BOOM!_

"AHHH YOU BASTARD!" Marik shouted gripping his thigh as the blood poured out; at once Bakura resolved to bandage up the wound with constant mutterings directed at him from Marik, along the lines of 'you son of a bitch'.

"There all done." Bakura said.

"I can't believe you _did _that! You got blood all over my straight jacket… good Ra!" Marik winced as he tried to get up.

"It's _your _blood, Marik." Bakura replied tiredly.

"But it's _your _fault my blood got on it – _BASTID_!" Bakura patted Marik's back soothingly, "All right, I'm sorry."

"You better be. I've got to return this jacket back to the asylum in the morning you know!" Marik said in what was a cross between a sob and a vicious growl.

"Tell you what, you can shoot Tea… would you like that?" Bakura said gently.

Wiping his face with the back of his hand, Marik nodded.

As Bakura handed the newly cleaned gun to Marik, Tea thought about her prophecy and her mind clearly registered the moment when Kaiba read it aloud just to insult her, _hold thy tongue, bitter annoyance; or face the consequences… _

And let's just say, Tea didn't even have enough time to scream.

* * *

_**Hahaha twisted eh? Just btw, I know I spelt Bastid wrong… that it should be 'bastard'; but 'bastid' is my word so that's why I used it ;DDD**_


	8. 7 Losing Your Head

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – Another grisly death… wow, a lot of people are dying huh?**_

_**Oh and once again, a necrophiliac is someone who gets off on dead bodies… in case you forgot Mwahahahahaahhaha – Ooooh and just by the way, I know Mai isn't really how I portrayed her below… then again, who knows what she's like in her spare time rolls eyes And a lil bit of romance… whistles inconspicuously Oh and I borrowed a line from Full Metal Alchemist: "I kill therefore I am"**_

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh… if I did, I'd totally enslave the masses through the pixels of their pc screens :P**_

**Chapter 7 **

**Losing Your Head**

"What _are_ you doing?"

A voice behind Kisara demanded; startling her. She spun on her heel to face Marik who had a bandage wrapped around his thigh and some blood droplets across his straight jacket. Kisara brought both hands to her mouth and gasped, "What HAPPENED?" Marik appeared sheepish, "Nothing much… have you seen Serenity?" he asked with a knowing grin; Kisara shook her head numbly, recalling the corpse of Serenity Wheeler on the floor in the previous room.

Marik encircled Kisara; taking slow deliberate steps. "I know what you did, Kisara."

Kisara retaliated with a glare, "What do you want?"

"You should join us…"

From behind him a voice chanted, _"Join us… join us… join us…"_

"Shut up, Bakura!" Marik snapped, watching with glee as Bakura was put-off by Kisara's distrustful glare directed at him; brusquely she said, "No."

"Awww _whyyy_ not?" Marik whined; to which Kisara responded disinterestedly, "You both are trying to take over the world with shiny _cardboard! _Some psychos YOU lot are…" she then sighed disappointedly, "Amateurs…"

Bakura was offended by Kisara's remark and added, "But mine has a really scary monster on the other side!"

"No dice, boys. If I wanted to take over the world, I'd do it with Kaiba. Now _that _man has connections – you lot are hopeless!" she stomped off in the opposite direction, deciding that she didn't want to be taken advantage of being alone again by Marik and Bakura who were now glowering at her.

"Can you believe she turned us _down_?" Marik asked dubiously, his eyes widening from shock. "Make no mistake, Marik she _will_ regret her decision tonight." Bakura growled, still stinging from her implied insults. "Oh come on Bakura, she's quite attractive – it'll be a waste of flesh."

Bakura's eyes narrowed, "No exceptions. Kisara Hunter _must die_." They both suddenly looked up at the sound of a smooth _click click_ of a pair of heels approaching them; Bakura added, "But in the mean time…"

Marik grinned suggestively.

* * *

"Great! I can't believe everyone just left me alone like that; I mean, I go into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror for 45 minutes and they totally ditch me!" Mai vented, adjusting the lingerie stockings that were riding up in uncomfortable places. She flicked her oversized hair and bounded into a random room that had eerie decorations; she promptly ignored the guillotine that stood in the middle of the room… realistic blood stains included and applied more lipstick.

"Urgh, I'm so over Halloween night… I just want to get laid and wake-up with regrets in the morning-" An over-excited voice behind Mai interrupted, "WOOHOO! GETTING LAID ROCKS!" Bakura glowered at Marik for his recent comment and punched him in the arm, "Ow!" Marik complained, rubbing the bruised area. "Must you _always _say that when someone refers to getting laid?" Bakura sighed, Marik looked at him incredulously. "Well DUH! Getting laid is the _way_."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Bakura scoffed; Marik shot him a knowing look, "when _was _the last time you got laid?"

Bakura coughed uncomfortably, "…5,000 years ago… maybe…"

Marik's eyes widened with horror at the very thought of abstaining for that long, "You poor, Tomb Robber… no wonder you're cynical about getting laid!" he paused to look at Mai who had noticed her reflection in the smooth metal of the guillotine and was just standing there… _admiring_ herself…

"What are you doing?" Marik asked pointedly with a sardonic look across his face; Mai replied, "My prophecy was _'don't lose your head'_, therefore if I watch my head I cannot lose it…" Bakura was speechless momentarily before saying, "You know, if I was her I'd stare at my _chest _not my _face_." Marik sniggered in agreement.

"Hmmm?" Mai asked absentmindedly, still captivated by her face and didn't notice Bakura nearing closer to her; and with a sadistic grin he grabbed her blonde hair.

"HEY!" she shouted with surprise as her head was forced down on the woodblock of the guillotine – the top part clamping down on her neck, holding her in place.

Bakura then coolly released the switch that activated the blade which smoothly slid down and cut Mai at the neck – her head falling neatly inside the basket on the end and then rolled… and rolled… until Marik stopped the head's little 'journey' with a prod of his foot. He grinned maliciously, "Don't lose your head, my dear." and picked up the estranged head by the thick tufts of blonde hair and planted a kiss on Mai's dead lips – Bakura regarded Marik with a look of distaste as the head was placed under a lamp. _I KNEW Marik was into dead bodies… oh god he can be sick sometimes! _He thought as he walked away from Mai's slumped DEAD body; and then muttered, "Necrophile…"

"What was that?" Marik snapped as he tripped over the ridiculously high red heels which were scrambled at Mai's feet.

"Oh… nothing." Bakura assured him with an _anime sweatdrop _and hurriedly shoved Marik out of the room. "Hey… why do we do this?" Marik asked with a sigh; Bakura replied mockingly, "Because we're psychotic? It's just a suggestion…"

"Okay, but why do we kill?"

Bakura laughed humorlessly, "I kill therefore I am. Understand?"

"… that we belong in an asylum – oh yes, what is there _not_ to understand…" Marik muttered darkly.

* * *

_Oof! _

"Watch where you're going, Hunter." Kaiba growled as Kisara collided into his chest.

"Wow… the world is spinning." Kisara gasped and staggered, but before her face could hit the ground, two firm hands shot out and grabbed her.

"Drank a little bit _too_ much, didn't we?" Kaiba asked sarcastically, supporting Kisara who was leaning heavily on him in her drunken stupor – the alcohol she had consumed earlier had finally decided to take effect.

"Yes, WE did." She replied stubbornly and stumbled over her own feet once again; instantly Kaiba reached out and pinned Kisara against the wall.

Kisara was rendered momentarily breathless as Kaiba was a mere inch away from her and with a wry grin he pulled away several inches, "Ever had the desire to do something you wouldn't normally do?" he asked, keeping a gentle grip on her shoulders. "Uhhh…" was all Kisara could manage as Kaiba lowered his face to hers and laughed in response, "Why are you so nervous?"

_All this tension is killing me! _She gulped.

"This may be strange coming from me…" He mused lightly, "But…" and gradually Kaiba's lips pursed into a seductive smirk as he brought his lips closer to her own…

"Kisara…" he muttered huskily as Kisara shut her eyes – ready for the moment that was to come…

"_Where is Wheeler and the others?" _

Kisara chocked and collapsed, "What the-?" she said as Kaiba looked at her peculiarly; the sting of disappointment evident upon her face.

"I mean – I haven't heard from, or seen any one else." Kaiba said matter-of-factly; Kisara replied stonily, "I don't know." Glaring at him frostily for giving her the wrong impression.

Kaiba managed a side-glance before saying, "What did _you_ think I was going to say?" when Kisara didn't reply he suddenly picked up on the subtle hint, "Or should I say – what did you think I was going to _do_?" he rephrased with a superior smirk.

Kisara blushed furiously, silently cursing Kaiba's perceptiveness.

"You know… you could have just asked." He smirked, his gaze suddenly becoming incredibly flirtatious.

Kisara arched a dubious eyebrow and before she knew it, Kaiba pinned her against the wall and kissed her passionately. Totally unexpected.

Equally hot-blooded, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer until the lack of oxygen became problematic…

Kaiba smirked as he caught his breath, and pulled Kisara into a warm embrace when it occurred to him…

"Where's Mokuba?"

* * *

_**Author's Note - o.O cough cough **_


	9. 8 Mass Maiming Cardboard

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – I totally stereotyped and/or made an unfair assumption about Goths below – ON PURPOSE; I said 'all Goth's want to die' when they don't… it's JUST a comment not to be taken literally or to heart, m'kay?**_

_**Just to elaborate further on the fact I don't want people getting all worked up… it's just a comment to be applied in context to this specific chapter.**_

_**A little bit of loving between Kisara and Kaiba… just to bring you up-to-date; there are three excluding Marik & Bakura people left after everyone else got butchered. Referencing to Kaiba's crotch – yeah, that's right – CROTCH! And also to **__**Napoleon Dynamite**__** – a way random movie. Vulgar language, enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh…**_

_**Kaiba from somewhere in the distance: WOOOOHOOOO! YEAH!**_

**Chapter 8 **

**Mass Maiming Cardboard**

"_Candy, Candy… CANDY!"_

Mokuba muttered as he ran and ran… the sugar high frenzy had completely taken over; he didn't even know _where _he was going all he knew was that he found the graveyard suddenly very appealing after noticing a bright glow in the distance…

"I wonder where Big Brother is…" Mokuba thought as he wove in-between the tomb stones; unfortunately he was moving at such a fast pace that the one crooked headstone caught him off guard, and he stumbled.

_Crack!_

His head had struck the ground.

* * *

"_Where's Mokuba?" _

Instantly the excitement in Kaiba's cerulean eyes dimmed, worry clouding his chiseled features.

"Wasn't he with you?" Kisara asked; objecting as Kaiba pulled away from her and froze at the top of a staircase that spiraled downwards directly to the lounge. Kaiba stared at Kisara, momentarily indecisive and eventually came to a half-hearted conclusion.

"Mokuba's old enough to take care of himself…" He mused; nearing closer to Kisara who planted irresistible seductive kisses along his jaw line, across his lips and made sure her arms found their way around his waist. "Yeah, it's not like he's lying dead in the cemetery or anything," Kisara murmured; to which Kaiba replied utterly breathless, "True…"

He brushed his hand delicately across her face and continued to caress her until he pulled Kisara's fangs out her mouth, "What's that for?" she protested; Kaiba smirked in response, "With your fangs in your mouth I wouldn't be able to do this…" and sensually he used his tongue to gain entrance within Kisara's mouth.

As Kaiba backed Kisara into a wall again she had eased her hands inconspicuously under his shirt and had caressed his back; moving her hands lower she became aware of silk beneath her fingertips – _Wow; with tight pants like these I thought Kaiba would be more of a briefs kind of guy…_ she involuntarily laughed which made Kaiba withdraw, "What's so funny?" He demanded roughly.

Because of Kisara unwittingly tugging at Kaiba's leather pants; a few inches of silky blue boxers were revealed, stifling her laughter she gasped, "Wait – is that SILK BOXERS with BEWDS on them? _Oh-My-God-That-Is-Fucking-Hilarious!"_

Kaiba folded his arms across his chest and had a stubborn scowl across his face, "What were you doing grabbing my ass anyway? I gave you permission to KISS me not GROPE me, _for God's Sake_!"

"Geez," Kisara argued, "What are you getting so touchy about? Unless you're _shy_… about being SHORT!" Kaiba arched a dubious eyebrow at the excessive use of innuendo; he straightened his posture to purposely resemble a Skyscraper and proceeded, "I assure you, I am tall in **all** areas of my body."

Kisara replied insinuatingly, "_I'll _be the judge of that."

Narrowing his gaze, Kaiba noticed a suspicious device lodged between Kisara's cleavage; brusquely without consent or apology he reached inside her top and pulled it out, "A video recorder?" he asked, sounding bored and pressed 'play'; onto the screen came Serenity's little 'fantasy' as she had lain on the bed.

For the full 3 minute duration of the clip Kaiba did not utter a word and had pulled out his cell phone. "Are you going to take the recording of Serenity and put it on your phone?" Kisara enquired with a side-glance aimed at Kaiba.

"No… I want to film a 'Kisara and Kaiba gone wild video'." Kaiba said sarcastically; Kisara replied accusingly, "Porno freak…"

Playing along; Kaiba added, "Of course – what else do you think Kaiba Corp's bandwidth gets used on?"

Kisara's eyes widened **OO In other words**; hastily Kaiba said, "I'm not serious," and added after Kisara shot him a skeptical look, "I want to phone that brainless bastard mutt to tell him – hold on," Kaiba whispered, and spoke into his phone which had reached Joey's voicemail, "WHEELER YOUR SISTER FUCKING FREAKS ME OUT!" and hung up, satisfied that he left his message and proceeded to locate Mokuba on his own; insisting Kisara not move at all.

With an impatient huff Kisara leaned against the wall as Kaiba strutted downstairs; gazing out the window he noticed a black figure running in circles until it crashed without warning to the ground, "Yeah, that's Mokuba alright," Kaiba muttered with a wry grin as he ran into the cemetery to try and locate the figure which had abruptly disappeared.

Cautiously he continued to weave amongst the tombstones and noticed a glow behind him; he turned his head slightly and attempted to shield his eyes from the blinding light instinctively growing tense as Marik - gripping a flashlight, drew closer to him.

"Lost something, Kaiba?" Marik asked lightly with a malicious glint in his eyes; immediately Kaiba grew defensive, "None of your _Goddamn _business, Marik!"

With a dark chuckle, Marik continued, "Actually, it was _Mokuba_ I was looking for… do you know where he is? You haven't hidden him underneath that oversized trench coat of yours, have you?" Kaiba narrowed his eyes in anger, "There is _nothing_ wrong with my trench coat; in any case what do you want with my brother?"

With an evil grin Marik said, "The same thing I want with you…"

Kaiba arched a suspicious eyebrow, "Isn't that Yugi's?" he asked, referring to the Millennium Puzzle around Marik's neck.

Marik coughed uncomfortable, "Maybe…" he then reached into his pocket and withdrew a revolver, and aimed it at Kaiba's head. "Bye bye…" he called out derisively and cocked the trigger, prepared to make the final shot.

Kaiba's eyes narrowed, completely unfazed by the gun pointed at him, "You've _got _to be kidding me," he asked rhetorically and rolled his eyes.

Marik smirked evilly and as he was about to pull the trigger…

Kaiba, in an act of _awesomeness_ combined with his natural ability of self-preservation, gripped a Duel Monster's card between his middle and index finger – so inconspicuous was this that Marik didn't notice anything until a piece of _shiny_ cardboard was flung at him like a Frisbee.

"AHHH!" he growled, gripping his eye where the rogue card had struck him.

So smooth. SO Seto Kaiba to make a piece of cardboard into a deadly weapon capable of mass maiming... and destruction.

Kaiba smirked. _You'd think by now people would know better than to try and use a gun against me… idiots. _

"_Why would you do that?"_Marik sobbed; Kaiba impatiently glared at the psycho lying at his feet, "Uh huh. Yeah right – it had _nothing_ to do with the gun you had aimed at my HEAD… idiot!"

Marik chuckled, "Having a **Napoleon Dynamite** moment, are we?"

In a matter of seconds Marik had the gun in his hand again – pointed directly at Kaiba's _crotch_.

In a fit of fury, Kaiba without hesitation brought his foot up and kicked Marik in the face – knocking him unconscious. "No one _dares _threaten **that **area of my being… otherwise I wouldn't be able to-!" Kaiba growled with annoyance, not even wishing to continue with _that _particular train of thought.

He resumed his mission to locate Mokuba and turned sharply towards more headstones, not taking the mesh of untamed weeds into account.

His over-priced boots were caught and in an attempt to extricate himself he unexpectedly stumbled over a limp mass; as his neck hit the edge of a crooked gravestone he caught the glimpse of a familiar face lying at his feet.

"Mokuba!" he gasped as his neck bent at an awkward angle…

In the last seconds of life he had, _two _thoughts flashed through Kaiba's mind:

Firstly: _Damnit, just when I thought I made it! Who knows how much loss Kaiba Corp_

_will hit as a result of this… grrrr…_

Secondly: _Betrayal of blood, huh? Tripped over my own brother's corpse – hey, that _

_IS a betrayal… I guess… poor Mokuba I never told him I loved-_

And he died.

* * *

**A/n: sob…sob… HE DIED! Sob… sob… excuse me while I have an emotional moment…. In fact, LET US ALL have a minute of silence in our favorite CEO's honor…**

**Ok… moment over. On with the story, Kiddos…**

* * *

_Where the hell is he?_

Kisara paced up and down the hallway angst ridden as the minutes continued to tick by and Kaiba had still not returned.

Completely taken by surprise as two arms wrapped themselves around her waist, Kisara gasped, "YOU BASTARD! You scared the shit out of me, GEEZ!" she struggled but the hands clung onto her securely.

With a playful laugh she relaxed, "You do know how to scare a girl, Kaiba!"

Her head leaned back casually on his shoulder, then it occurred to her: _Surely,_ _Kaiba's too tall for my head to reach his shoulders_, Kisara wondered as she mentally pictured herself beside Kaiba and realized that her head came to below his chest.

_Shit, _Kisara panicked.

"Kaiba? Not likely, my dear…" a snide voice whispered in Kisara's ear; unconsciously she withdrew from Bakura as he released her – sending her colliding roughly into the wall in front of her.

"In fact, assuming Marik didn't screw up… both Kaiba's are now _insect chow_."

Kisara shuddered at Bakura's creepy use of figurative speech and choked back a sob, "W-w-what?" she stammered before restraining her emotions, "I don't believe you!"

Bakura laughed maniacally as he shoved Kisara against the wall again, pulling out a stake and pointed it at her, a devious grin across his face.

Kisara's eyes widened, "Oh God… Oh God – this is… AWESOME!"

Bakura appeared to be confused by Kisara's irrational response – she _was_ taking him seriously, right?

"What in the devil-?" he demanded lowering the stake slightly, eyeing Kisara suspiciously.

"You ARE going to kill me, right?" she asked expectantly; Bakura responded, "Well, OBVIOUSLY!"

"SWEEET!" she clapped happily; Bakura paused again, "You could at least _pretend_ you're horrified! You don't honestly want to die, do you?"

"Uh huh," Kisara nodded, "Dying is the _ultimate_ for a Goth; I can't wait!"

Bakura was still severely confused, "Okay…"

He gripped the stake firmly and lunged at Kisara, her face was beyond ecstatic; she looked like she would actually jump up and down with happiness if she wasn't afraid that doing so would make Bakura miss.

"STOP!"

Marik wrestled with Bakura and wrenched the stake out of his hands.

"What are you doing?" Bakura demanded; breathing roughly with exertion and relinquished his hold on the stake.

"I like Kisara, okay!" Marik said, blushing fiercely; in anger Bakura shoved Marik out of his way….

"DEAR RA!" Marik exclaimed, horrified as the stake was squarely between Kisara's cleavage; with a small '_oof_' Kisara spluttered, "You've got to be _fucking _with me!" as the blood welled up in her mouth she laughed at the irony of the prophecy - _Between pride, blood drawn..._

She leaned back against the wall; her chest heaving and gradually slid into a sitting position.

"You should have joined us… mwahahahahahahaha!" Bakura laughed maniacally as Marik simply stood there, after suppressing the last remnants of remorse he too laughed evilly.

Sensing death; Kisara uttered painfully, "Goodbye… _you_ _bastards_."

* * *

**Author's Note - OO**

**Oh. My. Gawd.**

**At least they went down a lot harder than the rest…. Review pleeeeeeease!! .**


	10. 9 One Helluva Afterlife

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – bwahahahahahaha and the saga continues… come ooon what kind of lameass author let's all the characters die??**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh but the way the characters died was classic and original **_

* * *

**Chapter 9 **

**One Helluva Afterlife**

_I'm dead… I'm dead… dead…_

_Dead. _

"Hey Kaiba!" a purple-fleshed Joey laughed gleefully as Kaiba roughly sat up and groaned, "Oh goddamnit… I knew I was going to hell – but I didn't expect this; I mean Hell I could at least take over!"

With another growl, Kaiba attempted to straighten his head, yet with unsuccessful results… so here he was, staring out at the world with his neck bent at an awkward angle.

"It's not _that_ bad, rich boy. We get to be best buddies forever and ever… teehee!" Joey sniggered gleefully; Kaiba's eyes widened as the truth dawned upon him, "Give me fire, give me pain, give me Pegasus making friggin come-on's while he's poking me with a red hot poker – BUT AN ETERNITY WITH WHEELER!"

Kaiba's voice bounced off the walls as he buried his head in his hands resignedly, _this can't get much worse…_

Unfortunately it did as Tea came into view – her lips ready for one of her agonizing friendship speeches undoubtedly, "Just relax, Kaiba; you're with friends, and with friends-"

"Oh yeah, I'm eternally screwed all right…" Kaiba replied sharply; his only consolation laid in the fact that someone had done quite a number on Tea – there was a gaping hole in her forehead that was the size of his fist with blood leaking out on either side of her skull.

Kaiba smirked delightedly.

_So God does have a sense of humor…_ he mused, placing his surroundings immediately: in the attic of the cursed Kaiba's _other _Mansion.

Without warning a blue glow emitted from the floorboards as an unrecognizably form took shape before Kaiba's very eyes.

"KISARA!" he yelled as he scrambled to the unconscious figure; relief coursed through Kaiba as she groaned dully, slowly arising in an upright position.

Like everyone else, Kisara's appearance had a zombie tinge to it; her skin was a dull grey and there was dried blood from where the stake pierced her. Still dazed, she muttered, "An angel never looked so goddamn sexy…"

With a smirk Kaiba cradled her in his arms, "Unfortunately, my love, we are _not_ in heaven but confined to a place worse than Hell itself."

Kisara groaned, "A land where friendship speeches are rampant?"

"Unfortunately…"Kaiba growled with disgust as she continued, "A place where we are surrounded by retards?"

Kaiba smirked, "Don't forget pathetic second-rate mutts…"

"And Seto Kaiba is having a yaoi'sh gang bang with Yugi, Joey and Duke…"

Kaiba blushed, "… you read those?"

Unsteadily Kisara rose to her feet, noticing Kaiba's crooked neck. "What the-"

"Don't ask…" Kaiba interrupted as she approached him, urging him to sit on an old dusty couch.

"Let me fix that!" Kisara insisted, adjusting Kaiba's neck which snapped dreadfully back into place. "Didn't you feel that?" She grimaced and noticed a distant look cloud Kaiba's features.

"I haven't felt anything in years – you tell me." He replied callously as his gaze lingered on Kisara's eyes before quickly amending, "That's much better… thanks."

As the world seemed like a much straighter place, Kaiba became intensely aware of Kisara's cleavage shoved into his face – which is fine, except for the stake obstructing his view which dissatisfied him immensely.

"Need help?" Kaiba offered; with a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, Kisara replied casually, "Why not? It just isn't a day when I'm not violated by Seto Kaiba."

As Kaiba reached for the stake a moan caught Kisara's attention, and realized for the first time that the gang had lined up against the wall of the small dusty attic the whole time – only now their presence had registered in her mind.

The sight they presented was quite shocking: firstly Yami was missing half a hairdo (remember his head was lodged 3 feet in concrete… not even his hair could survive _that_) and the result was a very short, very jagged style that had bits of concrete and dirt littered amongst his hair. Half of Tristan's skull caved in and one of his eyes was now hanging carelessly from its nerve as he tripped repeatedly over the end of Duke's rope.

In turn, Duke had swollen skin which bulged where the noose around his neck cut into his flesh. Serenity had a hole through the side of her head which leaked bits of brain on either side.

As an added effect, everyone's skin had taken different tinges of color as a result of being zombified at death, further more their clothes were slightly tattered to add to the creepy undead look.

Kisara was caught between gasping with horror, or bursting into hysterical fits of laughter – she decided on the latter.

"It's _not _funny – 5,000 years of maintaining my hair… only to be destroyed by _this_! My beautiful hair…" Yami cried as his fingers combed through his deformed hair.

"I feel you, Hun." The familiar voice of Mai Valentine wafted from behind Kisara; abruptly she spun on her foot only to let out a high-pitched scream.

"MAI! What _happened_? WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?" Kisara gazed at the headless corpse, completely horrorstruck.

"Relax, I'm down here." The estranged head replied, currently resting on the ground. Mai then whistled and in response, her body blindly started towards it, "I'm here… _here_ – OW!" she screeched as her body roughly grabbed her by her thick tufts of blonde hair.

Everyone watched the peculiar situation dubiously as Mai continued to fight with her body.

"Ow , ow, ow – BE CAREFUL!" Mai commanded and started to sob uncontrollably, "Oh God no! My head will never fit in my handbag… stupid big hair!"

Joey gazed stupidly at Mai's chest before gently gripping her head between his hands, "Relax, I still love ya!" and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"This is all Bakura and Marik's fault! When I get my hands on them…" Kaiba stated as he folded his arms across his chest, he became aware of Serenity staring at him and regarded her with an infamous 'back off' glare.

"_Question – _what the hell happened to my sister?" Joey demanded as he flicked off a piece of her brain off his shoulder.

"It doesn't matter because your sister is weird, Wheeler – who dropped her on the head as a baby? Or is idiocy just a genetic thing with you dorks?" Kaiba said sarcastically, indirectly referring to the video of Serenity fantasizing about him.

Serenity squeaked an incoherent reply as she cowered behind Duke, "I remember seeing you, Kisara – did you see how I died?"

It was as if there was an invisible spotlight and Kisara stood in the centre of it.

Shifting nervously from foot-to-foot as a result of a guilty conscience she shouted, "Would everyone stop looking at me like that? Geez!"

"Well? Just tell us what happened already, Kisara!" Tea urged; hastily Kisara replied, "It was Marik okay – he snuck on behind her… that's _all_ I know."

"But there was a wall behind me…" Serenity added rather uncertainly, "And you threw something at me!"

"No I didn't-" Kisara gulped, "I mean – with a pillow… pillow fight wooohoooo – that is before Marik killed you." She then chuckled guiltily and sighed with relief when it appeared that everyone bought her lie.

Her gaze sank to her feet and noticed the dried blood on her corset which also framed a gruesome wound where the stake previously sat.

"Nooooo – the blood'll never come out of this! How the hell am I supposed to return this piece of _bollocks_ back to the costume shop now! Grrr…." Kisara erupted, clenching her fists in a temperamental fit.

Duke laughed, "If it sucks so much, why not just take the stupid corset off!"

"Ohhhhhh nononono… I'm not falling for _that _one, Duke; if I'm providing 'entertainment' I want to be paid for it." Kisara retaliated cheekily.

Tristan sighed, "I forgot, the best girls always come with a fee. Nice try man."

"Don't even talk to me – it your stupidity that got us killed!" Duke replied.

Hastily Joey added, "Just wait a second, guys – we have money bags here after all - Kaiba finally you're useful for something, eh?"

Everyone's gaze was trained on Kaiba as he considered this proposition, finally he came to a conclusion.

"No cash – I'll give you check to keep that _on _though." Kaiba said snidely as the guys were crestfallen.

"No deal! Keep your money, I wasn't being _serious_." Kisara rolled her eyes and playfully hit Kaiba – Serenity, Mai and Tea watched on enviously.

"But guys – why are we here? Shouldn't we be on our way to heaven or something?" Tea stated hopefully before adding, "Putting Kaiba aside of course – I mean we all know he's going to Hell…"

"Damn straight." Kaiba agreed with a smirk, "Anywhere without you Tea, is heaven to me."

"Smart ass." Mai replied grimly, "This isn't much of an afterlife , you know, I want answers already!"

"I believe this is the work of my puzzle." Yami mused as Mai added, "But you don't have your puzzle, you said Marik took it for crying out loud."

"That may be true, but I can feel it calling out to me – I recall this being one of the many hidden attributes it possesses on cursed nights such as this." Yami explained, however his word usage was apparently too complex for the gang to understand and so Joey just stood with a gaping mouth and a vacant expression.

Quickly Tea intervened, "it's the work of friendship! The puzzle sensed our close bond and used it's-"

"Shut the fuck up, Tea." Kisara said evenly; Kaiba smirked as Tea was stunned into silence.

Without warning, a glazed look appeared across Kaiba's face as he stated hoarsely.

"_It's the voices!"_

* * *

**Review please, see what the gang gets up to in the next part .**


	11. 10 Ouija Fun

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – there is an appearance of some random goth teenagers, all very relevant to the storyline… so just bear with them .**_

* * *

_****_

**Chapter 10**

**Ouija Fun **

* * *

"Got the board?" Ayjay asked as he settled down on the soft ground and started a campfire.

"Right here!" Delilah replied promptly before shouting, "Tom, Danny, Sarah, Al –guys, come on already!"

Danny emerged with an anime sweatdrop and immediately received a glare from Sarah, "You tried to ditch us, didn't you?"

"Err of course not! I was just making sure Tom didn't get lost, eh Tom?"

In response, Tom draped an arm around a tombstone while taking a swig of whiskey straight out the bottle.

"Suuuuure mate; but to tell ya the truth I'd rather be lost on the highway to hell than be here. I mean a CEMETERY for Christ's sake!"

"That's the best part! Plenty of ghosts to rattle, and near the witchin' hour too!" Ayjay grinned before adding, "By the way Al, did you remember the planchett?"

"The plan-_what_?" he asked, completely dumbfounded.

"You idiot! It's what we move across the board, how are we gonna do it _now_?" Delilah growled with annoyance when Tom piped in, "I got a whiskey glass – will that do?"

Ayjay took the glass and placed it against the board, indicating that everyone should place their fingers lightly on the backside of the glass.

"Is any body there?" Sarah asked shakily, everyone held their breath and watched the glass for 3 minutes before she repeated the question.

"This is retarded," Danny sniggered, breaking the mood as Delilah aimed a punch at his arm, "You're supposed to take this seriously!" she hissed.

After taking a deep breath Al asked as he fingered the stud beneath his lower lip, "Can someone please talk to us?"

The eerie atmosphere was overbearing as everyone's gaze was focused on the glass…

"_H'shit! It's working!"_

* * *

"Didn't you hear that?" Kaiba asked pointedly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Hear what?" Duke paused as he listened to the offending sound… only to hear… nothing.

"_That!" _Kaiba insisted as Mai side-glanced him sarcastically.

"It's official… Rich Boy's lost it. Being dead too much stress on ya? Not that I blame ya, I mean 12-year-old Mokuba running Kaiba Corp…"

"Shut up and _listen_." Kaiba replied sharply as a green light emanated from the floorboards, forming a glowing Ouija Board which had a whiskey glass in the middle of it.

Everyone except Kisara and Kaiba gaped stupidly as a male voice said, "Can someone please talk to us?"

"Well, what do we do now?" Mai turned to Kaiba who replied, "How the hell should I know? I've never been dead before… and it sure is an experience I don't intend on repeating."

Kisara laughed, "Once is all it takes, Kaiba. There are no 'do-overs' in the afterlife – but we should mess with these kids, scare them shitless!"

Tea appeared sceptical, "I dunno… is it right?"

"Aww come on, it'll be fun!" Kisara's eyes sparkled with macabre excitement; Kaiba smirked, "Look at her face Tea – can you really say no?"

Without waiting for a reply he moved the glass with his mind to 'yes' on the spooky spirit Ouija Board.

* * *

"Owwww…"

Yugi uttered groggily as he staggered to his feet, rubbing his head absentmindedly. In a stupor he glanced around him and noticed a campfire in the distance, by the tombstones.

"they actually ditched me! HEY WAIT UP YOU GUYS!" Yugi shouted before stumbling on a tombstone, which made his head hurt even more.

* * *

"Quiet, quiet! It's moving guys! It's actually moving!" Sarah squealed happily as they said the letters struck aloud as a group:

_Y-O-U-RE-A-L-L-L-O-S-E-R-S_

"I don't get it, _youreallosers_… what's that? A name?" Tom enquired.

"No, it's saying 'you're all losers' – why that lil-!" Danny growled as the glass moved again…

_M-W-A-H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A_

"What the-?" Al mouthed as Delilah clarified stonily, "it's evil laughter – he's evil laughing at us."

(meanwhile Kisara punched Kaiba, "NO evil laughing, dude – I'm serious, ENOUGH!"

Kaiba growled, "I'm having fun here, you're always telling me to enjoy myself and I am, SO QUIET ALREADY!")

"What's your name?" Al asked, finding it difficult to remain polite afterall, the internet site on using Ouija boards dictated that you should always be respectful to the spirits you contact.

_S-E-T-O-K-A-I-B-A_

"Oh my GOD!" Delilah exclaimed as she fanned herself with her free hand, "Kaiba is sooooooooo fine!"

In response, the glass moved again:

_D-A-M-N-S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T _(aka: damn straight.)

"But wait-" Danny interrupted, "isn't he alive?"

"Who cares, it's SETO – FRIGGIN - KAIBA!" Sarah replied, and asked, " would you go for me?"

(Kaiba actually burst into hysterical laughter as the guys felt envious at the come-on's)

_N-O-W-A-Y-I-N-H-E-L-L-B-I-T-C-H _(aka: n o way in hell, bitch)

"What about me?" Delilah asked in her most seductive voice; overcome by jealousy Kisara used her newfound ghost powers to make the wind become more violent.

"HolyshitholyshitHOLYSHIT- let's get out of here guys!" Danny pleaded as Tom passed out in a drunken stupor, oblivious of what was happening.

Delilah shivered and huddled against Al who was becoming even more creeped out as the eeriness of the cemetery seemed to double.

As the fire slowly died down, Sarah heard a strange groan from the distance and hugged her knees, "Guys… guys… I'm scared."

"What the…?" Ayjay gaped as a figure approached them from a distance; the head was strangely formed and as it neared closer to them, Danny bolted.

"BYE LOSERS!" he shouted as he scrambled off; "I HATE YOU!" Delilah replied sharply as she followed him as fast as she could.

When the figure persisted to approach them, Al growled, "I'm getting the fuck out of here! COME ONNN!!" and ran away screaming with Sarah at his side, completely forgetting about Tom.

Ayjay froze and hissed, "Tom… TOM! It's a ghost… a GHOST! Wake up already, pal!"

With a grunt, Tom opened his eyes and saw a figure in old colorless clothes.

"Oh shit – don't hurt meeeeeeeeee!" he yelped, taking a swig of whiskey before screaming and passing out again.

"I wonder what's wrong with them?" Yugi wondered and came to the conclusion: _It must be the bathrobe… the Pharaoh is SO gonna get it when we're at _home.

Without warning he staggered backwards, lightening struck the Ouija board right on the glass and the cemetery was overcome with fog.

Yugi squinted at the spot where the Ouija board was and noticed the fire was completely extinguished… he also saw a figure slowly taking form as a weird portal seemed to emerge.

_Oh snap, it really IS a ghost… no it's several ghosts! _Yugi thought before closing his eyes and screaming, "Ahhhhhh! IT'S A GHOST!"

"Hahaha – it worked! It _worked!" _Kisara laughed gleefully a s she attempted to walk through the portal that was created when the planchett (aka whatever you use to contact spirits) is abandoned on the board.

"Oh no you don't," Kaiba called out as he reached out and rooted her to the spot. "I'm going to emerge and look badass as those punks scream their little lungs out." He decided and noticed Yugi – curled up against a tombstone and screaming.

"Yugi?" Kaiba stated with a questioning look upon his face as he approached the quivering form.

"Kaiba?" Yugi replied and hesitantly opened his eyes and began screaming again, "Ahhhh! It's a KAIBA ghost! Don't haunt me!! I'll never beat you in a duel again-"

"YUGI!" Tea exclaimed happily as she wound her arms around Yugi who stared disbelievingly at his friends… the zombies.

"What… happened?" He questioned as Yami emerged, Yugi's mouth formed a small 'o' and shouted, "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!"

Yami shifted nervously from foot-to-foot, "Err… It's the new thing for Pharaohs in the 21st century…."

Yugi's eyes widened as he stared at Mai, "At least all is not lost – I mean Mai still has her most important assets…"

Duke grinned, "I know – and if you lost her head you won't have to hear her talking… now THAT'S awesome… too bad about the silicon, though – I mean what if it burst and-"

Mai cleared her throat, "Excuse me, but I'm right here!"

"Hey! A guy wonders about these things, ok!" Duke said defensively as Mai's head dropped to the floor.

"I'm going to get you for this one, _Devliiiiin_!" she yelled and began to roll towards Duke, like a bloody ended ball.

Yugi screamed in response and grabbed Duke's leg…except it wasn't his leg….

"Oh grow some balls, would you?" Kisara growled, "We're all zombies… we got it… now. let's find Marik and Bakura and castrate the bastards for KILLING US AND ALL!"

"Can we have an orgie afterwards?" Duke wondered as everyone gaped at him for the random comment.

"NOT WITH MY SISTER, YOU WON'T!" Joey declared heatedly as Kisara glared at Serenity, "FOR THE LAST TIME QUIT FLICKING YOUR BRAINS ON MY CORSET!"

"Rawr! Cat fight, cat fight!" Tristan laughed as he curled his fingers to imitate claws, "Oh – there goes my eye! Guys… help me find my eye… it's on the ground!"

Everyone promptly began to look around when a little _squish_ could be heard, "Sorry man!" Joey called out, "I think I found it… yup, and now I'm scraping it off my foot against dis here grave stone. Blehhhh."

"Gross!" Mai and Tea squealed in unision.

"We have a problem – how the hell are we supposed to go back to our human forms? I mean, _me_ in zombie form is definitely against Kaiba Corp's dress code – of course I could change that since I _own_ the company… I wonder what color trenchcoat would match the blue of my skin…" Kaiba wondered aloud.

"Err putting Kaiba's wardrobe crisis aside – he has a good point. I look like a walking plague…" Kisara added hastily, "Besides… I want revenge!"

"Agreed." Kaiba replied, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"

"Stop evil laughing, damnit!" Kisara growled.


	12. 11 It’s a Freaky Shadow Power Thing

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – behold, more!! Uhh I suggest that when you read this that you imagine way funny eccentric anime expressions and body language, because this part had me cracking when I could 'watch' it…. Anyway, read and review please!! As my series is almost at at an end I would like to dedicate this part and the one(s) to follow to **_**_KolaByNikola and Autumn-Angel-31_**_** who have been there from part 1. **_

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Yugioh and the fact that the original board of creators was fired explains how ghey GX and 5D are…. I miss Kaiba so much!! –sniff sniff- **_

* * *

**Chapter 11 **

**It's a Freaky Shadow Power Thing**

* * *

"We killed _everyone!" _

Marik laughed evilly, fingering the Millennium Puzzle while contemplating as to why the daft object had suddenly flashed a few times.

"Hmm. Indeed – but what do we do now that we have acquired all this power at our disposal?" Bakura wondered with a slight frown flitting across his features; Marik cackled in response, "I know, I know! Let's create a breed…" he paused for dramatic effect, "OF NUCLEAR LASER CATS!"

Bakura's eyes widened, "… let's save that for another time, shall we?" and hastily added as Marik's face appeared crestfallen, "Instead, let's enslave humanity!"

"With what? SHINY DUEL MONSTER CARDS!" Marik scoffed, "Kisara was right; we sure do make moronic bad guys… at least laser cats can shoot lasers out their asses… and their eyes…"

Bakura coughed awkwardly in response and declared, "At least we're not as lame as Team Rocket."

"I'm going to go mock the dead bodies, be right back." Marik called out as he walked out the room.

Bakura rolled his eyes sardonically in response, referring to Marik's 'necrophile' tendencies.

"I'm sure..."

* * *

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Kaiba evil laughed again to aggravate Kisara further; in response she directed a glare which he returned.

"Hey, hey calm down you guys!" Tristan urged, standing between them in order to keep them apart...

The gang then continued to walk amongst the gravestones when Kaiba called out, "That's my brother!" and everyone in a rush surrounded the apparently still body of Mokuba.

"Mokie…" Kisara started and sank to her knees, which Kaiba imitated.

"Is he okay, or what?" Joey asked as he resisted the temptation to prod Mokuba with his foot. "Yes, he just crashed from all the sugar but otherwise he's fine." Kaiba clarified as he gently lifted Mokuba over his shoulder; as he did so Mokuba had stirred awake, "…S-seto, you feel really creepy," he muttered before going back to sleep.

"Well, that's everyone accounted for!" Yugi stated brightly as the gang drew nearer to the house. "Putting the two psychos' aside," Mai added, referring to Marik and Bakura.

"There the bastards are now!" Kisara growled, pointing at them as they emerged out the door, slightly taken aback Marik said, "Well, that explains what happened to their bodies…"

"Indeed." Bakura replied, as the gang was mere feet from where he stood.

"Give me back my Puzzle!" Yami demanded; Marik replied angrily, "Like Hell! This Puzzle is mine Pharaoh, and- wait," He paused before bursting into laughter, "Is that… your _hair_? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Shut up!" Yami replied sharply as he folded his arms across his chest; at that moment Tea stepped forward with a disapproving scowl across her face, "Guys, I think Marik and Bakura need a dose of friendship – what do you say?"

Joey and Tristan wore blank expressions as Kisara restrained her laughter; Yami turned his head to the side with annoyance, "Tea… enough with the friendship speeches already; besides I think this is a far more appropriate time to talk about the Heart of the Cards."

At the mention of the words '_heart of the cards' _the Puzzle glowed brightly, consuming everyone with light – and mere moments later the gang were surprised to find they had returned to normal, living humans wearing Halloween costumes.

Kaiba stared at his de-zombified hand, "No way, the heart of the cards bull actually worked! This is definitely a result of a coffee deficiency," he decided as Kisara helped him to his feet.

"HAHA! WE'RE NORMAL AGAIN!" Tristan and Joey laughed together in unison as they hooked hands and did a weird happy dance.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Bakura wondered, staring disbelievingly at the sight.

"Hey, I wonder what else this baby can do!" Marik said as he stroked the Puzzle almost lovingly and had a thought: _Heart of the cards…_ _Shoot lasers at the guys!!_

And sure enough, it did.

Bright yellow lasers shot at the gang who had hit the ground; finally, Yugi emerged with a blackened face and one of his multi-colored spikes was on fire while the rest were smoking, "It's alright guys, my hair absorbed most of the blast."

"All right Yug!" Joey laughed as Duke continued to stare in amazement at Yugi, "Your hair… it stayed the same…"

"I bet that is a result of some freaky Shadow Power thing," Tristan replied with a dubious expression, when he started drooling Mai slapped him awake.

"Marik…" Kisara growled with a look of pure evil upon her face; instantly Bakura and Marik started backtracking into the house, and sure enough Mai and Tea followed with fury emanating from them…

* * *

"So this is what is meant by '_hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath'_," Marik started, referring to his personal prophecy – he and Bakura had just received a severe beating from the girls and were now on the floor in the lounge of the mansion.

"Next time I need a hitman, I'm hiring you, Kisara." Kaiba smirked as he placed an arm around her; Kisara then approached Marik who started cowering behind armor.

"Oh for goodness sake, come out!" Kisara sighed; to which Marik profusely insisted, "NUH UH!"

"Well, _someone_ has to wash my corset out!" Kisara continued, and when Marik had not replied she had simply reached behind the armor and dragged him away into the kitchen with everyone following obediently at her heels.

Kaiba had brought Kisara one of his black business shirts and she had put it on while Marik washed her corset.

"Hmmm looks good on you," Kaiba approved as Marik cried out in horror, "Washing powder – it _buuuuuuurns_!"

"Hahaha – it appears Kisara has made you her bitch," Bakura laughed evilly.

"Don't they have soap in Egypt?" Mai enquired; Marik replied, "Yeah… I just don't use it…"

"GROSS!" The girls squealed in unison, taking a few steps back.

Suddenly, Marik's face had contorted as his good side had temporarily taken over to say defensively, "That doesn't mean to say _I _don't!"

"Wow… did you – did you guys _see_ that!" Duke asked completely bewildered; Joey groaned, "Yeah, everyone's a scitzo around here."

"WE ARE NOT SCITZO!" Yami and Yugi (in the same body by the way) exclaimed in unison; Tristan side-glanced him sarcastically, "Riiiiiiight…"

"Yeah, I'm not either!" Bakura stubbornly folded his arms across his chest and suddenly, his face started contorting like Marik; at this instant the Millennium Puzzle started to glow again.

"I see the Millennium Puzzle is feeling generous today," Kaiba said sarcastically as he leaned against the wall.

As if in response, the light became stronger and Marik and Bakura started screaming – unsure of what to do, everyone else stood back watching with horror as a figure seemed to be forcing itself out of Marik, as well as Bakura's bodies.

"Man, dat's sick!" Joey exclaimed as a naked Bakura finally managed to extract himself from his good counterpart's body; moments later evil _naked_ Marik also emerged.

Gasping, the two good 'psychos' collapsed to the floor as their evil counterparts analyzed their bodies in wonder.

"Serenity, close your eyes," Duke said sternly as he caught her eyes lingering on Marik and Bakura's… err, manly 'daggling' bits.

"WE'RE FREE! WE'RE FREE WOOOHOOO!" Yami Bakura exclaimed happily as he let out a wild outcry and ran straight out the front door with his arms high in the air.

Apparently he did not pause to check if the road was clear to cross it because Yami Bakura had screamed, "_Aaaaahhh_!" before a squeal of tire against tar could be heard; and then a faint thump as the car had ridden over his naked body.

"Oh my God!" Mai exclaimed as both her hands had risen to her mouth in horror; hurriedly everyone scrambled outside to see if Yami Bakura was still alive.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?" The other Bakura screamed before rounding on Yugi, "Can I honestly live _without _him?"

Kaiba side-glanced the bruised and twitching Yami Bakura and made a quick decision, disappearing briefly.

"Hey where's Kaiba-?" But Tea's question was interrupted as Kaiba in a silver sexy, roofless car emerged, before stopping just behind the evil Bakura's body.

"Take him to hospital? That's a good idea!" Yugi enthusiastically stated, to which Kaiba started shaking with malicious laughter.

"You've got to be kidding me! I just want to finish the job!" Kaiba sneered as Kisara hopped into the car beside him, "Ooooh I want to join in!"

The rest of the gang looked onwards with horror – besides Yami Marik, he had disappeared – as Kaiba was about to ride over evil Bakura.

There was a series of thumps as Kaiba drove over the body and he would then reverse the car over the body; drive over it and reverse…

Kaiba did it again.

And again.

And again… until finally he was satisfied that there was nothing left of Yami Bakura.

He and Kisara both got out the car to inspect what was left of Bakura only to find a squished mass that was unrecognizable as a human.

"Oooooh look! Road kill!" Kisara pointed at the mass in twisted humor.

Everyone else had backed away as Marik had knelt beside the squished mass which was transforming into a thick black tar-like substance, "Hey guys!" he called out, "Help me scoop my other self into this jar!"

* * *

**Mwahahahahahah! Pegasus makes an appearance soon, folks, so be prepared for more twisted macabre humor!! **


	13. 12 Willy Wonka & The Closet Perverts

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – Okay so there's a part here on how Kaiba ruined sex for poor mokuba (I mean really, what kid isn't traumatised when they realise mom and dad weren't actually wrestling…) which is derived from this hilarious cartoon entitled "YGO ASKS: "Where do babies come from?" which can be seen at kaya-kioko. (I think I got that address correct) anyway…**_

_**on with the possibly second last chapter of KAIBA'S MACABRE HALLOWEEN BASH! Oh and there is explicit innuendo hehe… -whistles inconspicuously-**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh -sniff sniff- and tis a sad fact indeed. **_

* * *

**Chapter 12 **

**Willy Wonka & The Closet Perverts**

* * *

"No way, man! I ain't touching that!"

Joey pointedly refused as Bakura insisted that he help him scoop up what remained of Yami Bakura.

"Duuuuuuuuude," Tristan responded, "Don't come to me either, this is just sick man, SICK!"

"But guys-?" however Bakura's plees went unheard as everyone stalked back to the mansion.

"I miss my Puzzle," Yami sobbed as Tea clicked her tongue in annoyance, "Puzzle _this_ and Puzzle _that! _It's always about your Puzzle! What about… _me?_"

"Oh man, she didn't-" Duke started as Tristan replied, "Yeah she did, she's throwing a chick fit."

"I AM NOT!" Tea insisted before rounding on Kisara, "Tell them I'm not having a chick fit!"

Kisara merely shrugged and stopped Joey from chocking on a cold pizza slice.

"This is why I don't have girlfriends – that and the Yu-Gi-Oh creators honestly didn't give me much of a selection," Kaiba added in a bored tone.

Suddenly, everyone's attention was captured by a light knocking on the front door… and the dreaded voice of….

"KAIBA-BOY!" Pegasus, dressed as Willy Wonka - said flamboyantly as Kaiba clenched his teeth in annoyance, "What are you doing here?"

"Just came to return this…" Pegasus replied and suddenly presented Yami Marik jittering and twitching, wrapped inside a big grey blanket.

"What's with him?" Tristan asked suspiciously as Yami Marik started muttering incoherent rumblings, staring at everyone with wide eyes as if it was the first time he saw a human being before.

"Oh, he found my secret weed stash and smoked the whole lot, the bastard." Pegasus replied casually as Kaiba's eyes narrowed in annoyance, "You do know you can actually _keep_ him, right?"

"Oh really? I would have settled for your brother but anway…" Pegasus suggested lightly; instantly Kaiba's eye's widened, "_Mokuuuuuubaaaaaaaaaaaa_ – where are you?"

Mokuba's voice flitted from the lounge, "In here Big Brother…"

Slightly losing his patience, Kaiba replied pointedly, "Good. Stay there. " he then snapped his attention back to a very smug Pegasus.

"Go. Now. or I'll have you arrested for fabricated charges in addition to trespassing, kidnapping and being really, really… weird…"

Affronted, Pegasus raised an admonishing finger, "I can tell when I'm not wanted!"

"I doubt it, because I've been sending some very unwelcome vibes at you ever since you walked through my front door," Kaiba replied sharply.

"But Kaiba-boy…" Pegasus began, " oh this really is such a drag; first I got into a fight with Michael Jackson over a little boy and he won – and now this! Why, I never!"

"Okay," Kaiba decided, "hints aren't cutting it; time for the direct approach – BEGONE SATAN!"

Bewildered and rendered momentarily confused, Pegasus said blankly, ""Ehhh?"

The rest of the gang watched on with dubious expressions as Kaiba became increasingly desperate to be rid of Pegasus, "Okay, if I give you Tea would you please just leave?"

"WHAT?" Tea called out in outrage of being used as a bargaining chip.

When Pegasus showed no signs of moving, Kaiba hastily added, "Kisara too – but only if you bring her back in the morning."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Kisara growled as she aimed a glare at Kaiba who promptly ignored her as he added casually, "What do you say?"

Insulted at being ignored, Kisara clenched her teeth in annoyance and growled, "Here's an idea – why don't we give Pegasus a jar with your balls in it, Kaiba?"

"Ack…" Duke, Tristan and Joey said in unison and hit the ground anime style when Pegasus exclaimed, "Deal!"

Kaiba's, Tea's and Kisara's mouth's gaped in surprise at the unexpected outcry as Mai replied, "Okay, okay – I am just a little bit freaked out right now... just a bit…"

"Back away slowly…"

Kisara muttered urgently when she was aware of the fact that Pegasus had appeared to have disappeared.

"Who was that, Seto?" Mokuba asked as he emerged from the lounge, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Willy Wonka." Kaiba replied shortly, he didn't trust Pegasus – especially if he was lurking here in his mansion.

Instantly wide-awake, with bright eyes that shone with delight, Mokuba asked excitedly, "Did he bring me more candy?"

"No. it was PEGASUS dressed up as Willy Wonka." Kaiba bluntly clarified as Mokuba's expression changed to one of distaste, "Well… that's creepy. You do realise you've ruined Willy Wonka for me TOO, right?"

After receiving accusing looks from Kisara, Kaiba hastily added, "He's still upset about the time I told him Santa wasn't real."

"Don't forget Easter, the Tooth Fairy and sex too; big brother you've just wrecked that for me as well," Mokuba prompted before going upstairs to crash; he was feeling a little moody since it was four AM in the morning and he was tired.

Kisara rolls her eyes before directing a dirty look at Kaiba, "A Kid's dream wrecker? That's SO Seto Kaiba!" and then added as an after thought, "by the way, how did you ruin sex for the kid?"

Kaiba arched an eyebrow, "Well, I told him from a woman's censor after she gets censor by a man and he censor's her. it had the poor kid suicidal."

After receiving many glares and groans of protest, Kaiba added, "What? at least he's not confused."

"Well, I am… what's with all da 'censor's'?" Joey wondered, scratching the top of his head idiotically, and added , "never mind the fact that he's traumatised for life, huh?"

Duke, eager for a subject change called out, "Well okay guys… anyone up for a game of pool?"

"SUUUURE!" Mai, Yami, Tristan, Joey and Tea exclaimed happily as they made their way to the pool table.

Halfway through the game, the buttons of Mai's nurse outfit seemed to have surpassed their limits as her entire chest was exposed, spilling onto the pool table itself as she was poised to make a shot.

"WOOOHOOOO!!" Duke and the guys all exclaimed excitedly, punching the air and everything.

Unabashed, Mai added, "Whoops… wardrobe malfunction,"

Duke shook his head and laughed.

* * *

_What a night…_

Kisara thought as she continued to walk quietly in the hallway, becoming intensely aware of the fact that someone was following her.

Slowly, clenching her fists and narrowing her eyes in concentration; Kisara spun on her heel and aimed a punch at the stalker, pinning him against the wall beside a bedroom door.

"You could have just asked," Kaiba sneered, gripping Kisara's fist in his hand hinting towards the door beside him.

In a huff, Kisara withdrew her hand only to be crushed against the wall with Kaiba directly in front of her.

The tense atmosphere was shattered as a series of whoops and hollers caught Kisara and Kaiba's attention.

"What do you think is going on there?" Kaiba asked; Kisara retaliated cheekily, "Gang bang on the pool table?"

"You've had experience?" Kaiba mocked, enjoying the blush that tinted Kisara's cheeks, "Absolutely NOT!" she insisted.

"Would you _like_ experience?" Kaiba asked with a smirk and hinted to the bedroom near them; before she realised what was happening Kisara was shoved into what turned out to be Kaiba's master bedroom…

* * *

Duke yawned as he walked along the hallway, _Man can't a guy get a bathroom around here, geez! _

He paused momentarily, hearing voices from a hallway closet, _What the… IS THAT MARIK?_

Well, to be precise it was BOTH Mariks within the closet; Yami Marik had just lost his temper and yelled, "HEY THERE'S NO ROOM FOR THE BOTH OF US!"

"And?" Marik replied disinterestedly which just infuriated Yami Marik further; he enjoyed being apart from Marik and now the idiot wanted them to share the same body again.

"GET INSIDE ME DAMNIT!"

"NO, YOU GET INSIDE ME!"

"But I'm scared… this is my first time you know…"

However, Duke didn't know this and that's why the conversation he overheard severely freaked him out…

"What the-??" Duke demanded as he pulled the closet door open to find both Marik's sitting beside each other. He let out a sigh of relief, _At least they didn't do what I thought they were doing… man, I really need to get my head out the gutter. _

"Errr… it's not what you think…." Marik said embarassedly as Yami Marik growled, "Marik for Ra's sake come out the closet!"

"Fine." He replied and awkwardly shoved past Duke, followed by Yami Marik.

"What's wrong Duke?" Serenity asked, eyeing his expression with curiousity.

Hastily shaking his head free of the images which disturbed him, he replied, "Well, Marik has just come out the closet and I'm feeling very…very… confused."

As he turned his head to the side he noticed both Marik's perched on their haunches, with their ears to a door.

"What are you guys doing?" He demanded, only to be shushed.

"They're getting laid," Yami Marik whispered; excitedly Marik added,  
"FINALLY SOMEONE'S GETTING LAID!"

"Who?" asked Duke, silently cursing himself for even wondering about such things.

"Wooohoooo! Kisara and Kaiba are laying each other!" Yami Marik said instead; Duke hit his head with a groan, "Oh my god, you guys are such perverts!"

And walked away with Serenity meekly at his side, _I'm so not drunk enough to handle this… I'm going to bed. _


	14. 13 Sex Tapes Conclude The Nightmare

Kaiba's Macabre Halloween Bash

_**Author's Note – Tis the end of our macabre saga – once again, thanks to my reviewers!! And enjoy.-wipes away a tear-  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 13 **

**Sex Tapes Conclude The Nightmare **

* * *

"_Stop…Seto…hehe… that tickles…"_

Kaiba heard Kisara purr lazily in her slumber, and smirked.

_She's so adorable when she does that, _he thought as he nuzzled the back of her neck; clutching her form to his.

Pretty snug, huh? Kaiba thought so too, that is, until he felt a warm breath behind his neck.

"What the-?" Kaiba murmured, alarmed as he turned over, coming nose to nose with Pegasus. That's right – PEGASUS.

"Kaiba-boy…" Pegasus winked as Kaiba responded completely horror-stricken, "Oh God no, this can't be happening - Oh God nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"

"GAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kaiba bolted upright in bed, covered in cold sweat as he recalled the ultimate nightmare in vivid detail, just suppressing a shudder.

"What's wrong?" Kisara muttered sleepily and curled up closer to him; with a sigh of relief Kaiba replied, "Nothing…"

Meanwhile a quiet snigger emitted from within a closet.

"Shhhhh… he'll never know…" Pegasus whispered conspiratedly as he continued to watch with apprehension.

"You're _such_ a closet pervert!" Yami Bakura aimed a glance at Pegasus as he lowered the video camera, remembering to set the volume on mute before replaying the footage he just recorded…

* * *

"Hey guys – it just occurred to me, what happened to Kisara and Kaiba?" Joey asked as he scratched his head stupidly; Duke shrugged in response and decided not to answer. He knew what they were doing… and he wasn't about to crush Serenity's hopes, or piss Joey off, for that matter, not when he just woke up – he could just picture the idiot's response…

"WHAAAT?? THEY'RE DOING WHAT??"

"Calm down Joey," Mai said while stifling a yawn.

"No fair Mai, if Tristan and Tea are gonna make breakfast for themselves, it's only fair they make some for the rest of us!" Joey replied indignantly, food was a religion for Joey.

Yugi joined in the laughter, as Joey had Tristan pinned against the wall in a matter of seconds.

It was officially the afternoon after Halloween, I mean really – everyone only really crashed at 5 am (with **TWO** notable exceptions… -cough **KAIBAandKISARA** cough-) which meant that the gang slept like the dead until 1 o'clock… when they got hungry…

"Ah! There are the happy bunny rabbits now!" Duke called out mockingly as Kisara emerged – dressed _ONLY _in Kaiba's expensive black shirt, with Kaiba trailing behind her wearing a wolfish grin upon his face.

Considering the scandal this would create, it was fortunate that the gang was oblivious to what had transpired between Kaiba and Kisara earlier.

"Morning…" Kisara called out delightedly as Kaiba handed her a cup of coffee.

"Hey what happened to you guys? You missed breakfast," Tristan said as Joey released his hold on him.

"No I didn't," Kisara replied brightly, insinuating innuendo only Kaiba and Duke fully understood.

"No kidding…" Duke whispered under his breath as Bakura and Marik emerged, looking at Kisara and Kaiba knowingly.

"Yeah, Kaiba gave Kisara a little _something, something_…" Marik added with an explicit smirk. Joey and Tristan appeared affronted.

"WHY DIDN'T I GET SOME?" Joey demanded, mistaking Marik's comment to mean food…

"YEAH SHARING IS CARING!" Tristan agreed, as Bakura cut in awkwardly, "Not where this is concerned, trust me…"

"I get it!" Mai gasped and shook her head disbelievingly, "Kisara, you dirty little whore – I wanted the Billionaire! How else am I supposed to support myself without some rich guy paying my way??"

Kisara shrugged nonchalantly, "Whoring, erotic dancing and prostitution not doing it any more?"

Kaiba laughed at Kisara's use of blunt sarcasm and found it ironic how Mai was the only one who had caught on; even Tea remained ignorant – _Oh wait. That's right, Tea has never been laid before, she only wishes she was – and the guys here are all virgins regardless, _Kaiba thought with a smirk.

"What happened to your corset, Kisara?" Tea demanded with an accusatory glare which Kisara responded with a blush tainting her cheeks.

"I decided to alleviate Kisara of her corset _my own way,_" Kaiba smirked, heavy innuendo suggested as he thought, _Let Tea make of that as she wants. _

"Hey mutt," Kaiba addressed Joey arrogantly, "Hand me another cup of coffee."

"WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, HUH?" Joey demanded, getting fired up as usual.

"Do I really have to answer that question?" Kaiba said coolly, and added mockingly after receiving a rebellious look from Joey, "Wheeler, you are my bitch – accept who you are, and fulfill your duty as the dingle berry brained chuckling chump that you are AND GIVE ME MY COFFEE ALREADY!"

"Seto gets really aggro when he hasn't had enough coffee…" Kisara clarified mildly, fingering a pool que lightly as Kaiba at the spur of a moment, took a sticky note and scrawled "**Seto Kaiba made me his bitch**" across the surface, and stuck the piece of paper against Joey's forehead.

In response, Joey crumpled said sticky note and declared hot-headedly, "I'm all man, Kaiba!"

"Prove it!" Kaiba challenged, folding his arms across his chest in a typical defiant gesture.

"A'RIGHT!" Joey then showed his middle finger at Kaiba before dropping his pants, flipped the bird and turned around as he slapped his ass.

Innocent Serenity gasped in horror, as everyone (excluding Kaiba) dropped to the floor anime style. Kaiba's right eye twitched as his brain tried to process what it had just seen.

"JOEY!" Kisara growled, advancing on a laughing Joey, "TWO SECONDS AND THIS QUE IS GONNA MAKE A VERTICAL INSERTION UP YOUR **ANUL CAVITY!"**

Abruptly, Joey shut his mouth as Kaiba said smoothly, "Better do as she says – she bites."

When no one replied because they were rendered speechless, dazed and confused, Kaiba added, "Seriously – I have the marks to prove it!"

"I don't wanna know…" Duke shook his head to clear it of the images that just crossed his mind and suddenly fell to his knees, "NOOO THE IMAGES ARE FOREVER BURNT INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUS!"

"Your imagination is not capable of actually reconstructing what _I _saw… recorded…" Yami Bakura sneered, appearing with the video camera in hand, ignoring the bewildered expressions that crossed everyone's faces.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Bakura exclaimed, "YOU SAID YOU'D GET IN ME GODDAMNIT!"

Too bad no one understood that Bakura was referring to Yami Bakura occupying his body once again…

"Oh Goooood… the images….. ahhhhhhhh!!" Duke screamed again as he ran promptly into the nearest wall.

"I promised no such thing," Yami Bakura denied brusquely before adding, "Tell you what, in exchange for money will you leave me alone?"

"How _much_ money?" Bakura asked, now intrigued by the proposition; Yami Bakura replied off-handedly as he briefly considered how much the footage on his camera would be worth on e-bay, "A couple of Million. Minimum."

"Ack…" Yugi gasped in shock, "That's a lot of money – where did you get the money from?"

"Good question…" Bakura glared suspiciously at his evil self; Yami Bakura shrugged, "Who wouldn't pay millions for 3 hour footage of how _sexy _Seto Kaiba got de-virginized? Exactly."

"So true…" Marik laughed, "Kaiba got laid, and cute 'Kura is making a couple of Mil' out of the deal – hahahaha! Pure genius!"

When Kisara finally recovered her voice she exclaimed angrily, "WHAT??" and then turned to Kaiba briefly to utter curiously, "You're a virgin?"

"Not anymore…" Kaiba replied with an ironic grin; Kisara replied astounded, "I would never have guessed…"

"Likewise," Kaiba agreed before aiming a death glare at Yami Bakura, "I refuse to allow you to release that footage!"

"Well, this certainly is an exciting change of events!" Mai exclaimed, noticing that Duke, Marik, Bakura and Yugi were the only people paying attention to the situation; the rest of the gang was mesmerized by the food Tea was preparing… heeeey, hunger makes you do strange things…

* * *

"… and you didn't kiss her?" Marik demanded – completely off-topic from the current situation, as Yugi had recounted how forward and strange Tea was when the Pharaoh had taken over his body, moments before he 'died'.

"There wasn't a signal!" Yugi replied with a blush; Marik released a sharp sound from between his clenched teeth in annoyance, _"There_ _is no signal!"_

"But I didn't know that! Besides, in all the movies there is always a signal!" Yugi insisted, waving his arms awkwardly in his defense.

Marik then growled – it always annoyed him when people don't get laid – and promptly marched determinedly to Yami Bakura, gripped the man around his neck and planted a hard kiss on his lips.

"Ack…." Duke gasped before falling over, while Kisara appeared bemused. Kaiba merely crossed his arms resolutely and sighed in response; Yami Bakura had pulled away and coughed, wiping his lips with the back of his hand roughly.

"See?? He didn't give me a signal! But I kissed him!" Marik declared proudly before rounding on dear innocent little Yugi, "Are we clear?" he added darkly.

"Eep!" Yugi replied dubiously as he side-glanced Yami Bakura who was glaring daggers at Marik.

"Warn me next time you try to do that so that I can rip your tongue out…" Yami Bakura growled with a moody look clouding his features.

Marik laughed in response, "Oh come on, it wasn't that bad! I was just making a point."

"A POINT? I'LL SHOW YOU A POINT!" Yami Bakura growled as he wrestled Marik to the ground, completely discarding the video camera… the video camera which Kaiba picked up, removing the tape.

"I'm so over Halloween," Kaiba uttered darkly as he massaged his temples in annoyance before turning to Kisara, "I hope you understand…""

"That it was a one night stand only?" Kisara finished carefully, and grinned as she kissed Kaiba on the cheek, refusing to glance behind her even once as she left the Kaiba's _other _mansion.

Stunned, Kaiba watched as she returned hurriedly with an anime sweatdrop, "Errr… excuse me, I forgot about my clothes!" Kisara then sprinted upstairs, ruining the badass moment.

Kaiba then laughed maniacally, only to receive a whack on the head as Kisara emerged fully dressed, "I thought I told you to stop doing that!"

Kaiba smirked.

And then it occurred to him – _I still have one thing left to do…_

* * *

"KAIBA-BOY!"

Kaiba merely continued to shovel dirt until the grave was flat and all you could hear was the muffled screams of Pegasus buried six feet underground…

"KAIBA-BOY?? WHAT ARE YOU- THERE ARE BUGS! NOOO I HATE BUGS…"

With a final grunt of effort, Kaiba stuck the shovel into the ground so that it stood erect and folded his arms across his chest – smirking maliciously as Pegasus continued to cry out.

_I said I'd make you pay… _

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


End file.
